


Ac Velut In Somnis

by JohnAmendAll



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Knightmare
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-02
Updated: 2013-11-01
Packaged: 2017-12-22 05:20:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 30,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/909384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnAmendAll/pseuds/JohnAmendAll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose had had enough adventures that she could probably have walked through one blindfolded. This time, she would have to do precisely that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In At The Deep End

**Author's Note:**

> This was plotted, and largely existed in draft form, when I learned of the forthcoming [revival](http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2013-07/25/knightmare-resurrected-for-geek-week). Any similarities between them (such as the use of adult contestants) are pure coincidence.
> 
> For the Knightmare characters, it's set after Series 8. For the Who characters, at some point between Tooth and Claw and Fear Her.

> _Ac velut in somnis, oculos ubi languida pressit_  
>  _Nocte Quies, nequiquam avidos extendere cursus_  
>  _Velle videmur et in mediis conatibus aegri_  
>  _Succidimus; non lingua valet, non corpore notae_  
>  _Sufficiunt vires nec vox aut verba sequuntur:_ |  And as, when heavy sleep has clos'd the sight,  
>  The sickly fancy labors in the night;  
>  We seem to run; and, destitute of force,  
>  Our sinking limbs forsake us in the course:  
>  In vain we heave for breath; in vain we cry;  
>  The nerves, unbrac'd, their usual strength deny;  
>  And on the tongue the falt'ring accents die...  
> ---|---  
>   
>   —Virgil, Aeneid, XII (tr. Dryden) 

When she stepped out of the TARDIS, Rose didn't see anything too wrong with her surroundings. The castle looming against the night sky, the half-timbered buildings huddling at the base of its walls, the flagstones under her feet and the mountains in the distance might not belong to Earth, but she'd seen their like on a dozen worlds. 

As she hurried forward to catch up with the Doctor, Rose found herself feeling unaccountably light-headed. The buildings closest to her seemed to be glowing with an inner luminance that shone through walls and windows alike. Then when she gave the castle a closer look, the air of menace pouring from it caused her to recoil; its evil nature was an objective fact, as unquestionable as gravity. She turned away and set her gaze on the mountains, trying to take deep breaths, but all she could see was an aura of glowing blue poison clinging to them, like dew on a cold morning. 

The next thing Rose knew, she was bent over a horse trough, and water was being splashed in her face. The Doctor's arm was supporting her; she could still hear roaring in her ears, and the moment she opened her eyes the world spun around her. 

"Doctor?" she mumbled. 

"Yeah. It's me." She felt her hand squeezed. "Wherever this place is, it's somewhere we don't belong." 

"You mean you don't know where we are?" As long as Rose kept her eyes shut, she found she could at least talk coherently. "Thought you knew everything." 

"Nearly everything. But I'm not sure this place even is a thing." Rose felt herself pulled to her feet. "It's doing something to us and I don't. Want. It. To!" 

"Doctor?" 

"It's OK. It's OK. Doesn't seem to be as bad for me as you." 

"That's a Time Lord thing, yeah?" 

"Probably. Can you stand?" 

Rose opened her eyes for a second, and screwed them tight again. "Only if I keep my eyes shut." 

"Me too." She felt herself spun round. "Take a look. Only for a second. Can you see the TARDIS?" 

Rose took a brief glance. "Yeah. Off to my right a bit." 

"Turn to face it, and take another look." 

Another turn, another momentary impression of the alien landscape — with the worn blue box of the TARDIS dead ahead, the only thing in this world that didn't hurt her to look at. 

"Right. Let's get back there and regroup." 

Rose walked forward, her hands stretched out in front of her, and the Doctor's hands resting lightly on her shoulders. He must have his eyes closed too, she realised, to shut out the pain that came from vision in this world. But even with her eyes closed, she could feel something being drained from her. Her heartbeat hammered in her ears and her legs were aching, as if she'd somehow run a mile without noticing. 

Suddenly, the Doctor let go of her shoulders and shoved her forward with a shout of 'Run!'. Not giving herself time to think, and still keeping her eyes tightly closed, Rose staggered forward at the best pace she could manage. She knew that tone of the Doctor's: there was something around that was not at all nice. Over the hammering of her heart she fancied she could hear the hiss of alien voices and the flopping of damp, slimy feet across the ground. 

Then Rose's questing fingers met the wood of the TARDIS door. Keeping one hand pressed to its panels, she dug in her pocket for her key, fumbled it into the lock, and pushed the door open. As she dived through, something snatched at her ankle, sending her tumbling to the floor. She was up again in an instant, her eyes wide open. Inside the TARDIS, everything was just as they'd left it, a few minutes before. The pain and weakness in her body had gone, too. 

She spun round. Outside the door, the glowing mountain peaks still hurt her eyes and made her feel dizzy when she looked at them. Closer at hand, the creature that had grabbed at her was a couple of paces away: green, vaguely humanoid in appearance, with large, bulging eyes, and brandishing a trident. Beyond it, she could just make out the Doctor, surrounded by more of the creatures. His hand shot out, holding the sonic screwdriver aloft, and from its tip there was a brief flare of blue light. 

As the monster reached out towards Rose, the TARDIS doors slammed shut. With a thump that Rose felt through her entire body, the engines ground into life. A quick glance over her shoulder was enough for her to see that the central column was in motion, and she knew all too well that each pulse was carrying her further away from the Doctor. 

"No!" she shouted. "Stop!" 

She covered the distance to the console at a run, grabbing at those controls whose purpose she knew. But to no avail; they were locked in place. 

"This is Emergency Programme One," the Doctor's voice said. 

Even though she'd been half-expecting them, the words still struck Rose like a physical blow. Clinging to the console for support, she turned to see the hologram of the Doctor, seemingly standing beside her. 

"If you're seeing this," it went on, "it means I'm dead, or about to die with no chance of escape..." 

"I know!" Rose shouted, thumping the console in frustration. 

"...And the TARDIS is taking you—" 

The hologram flickered, briefly broke up in a shower of pixels, then reformed in the image of a small man wearing a straw hat and a pullover covered in question marks. 

"— mantenga la TARDIS oculta que—" 

The hologram vanished again. Rose looked around, new fears running through her. Surely the lights had been brighter before? And unless she was imagining it, there was a note of strain in the sound of the engines. 

The Time Rotor shuddered, dropped to its lowest position, and remained there. At the same moment, with an almost human groan, the engines ground to a halt, and the lights, one by one, began to wink out. The scanner screen displayed a series of purple Gallifreyan glyphs, their meaning obscure to Rose but their urgency all too clear. 

The last telltale faded, leaving Rose alone in utter silence. The only light she could see was shining through the doors from outside. Around her, the mechanisms of the TARDIS stood, immobile and useless. There was nothing she could do in here. 

She walked slowly to the door, and stepped out. 

Compared to the previous time Rose had left the TARDIS, this place looked reassuringly normal. She stood at one end of a large hall, its walls made of stone, its floor strewn with rushes. Doorways with pointed arches here and there presumably led to other rooms in whatever building this was. Close at hand was a fireplace, containing only half-burned logs, cold and covered with grey ash. A chair, partly covered with a dustsheet, stood beside it. A little further away, a stone object stood, with three tall stools to one side of it. Rose crossed to the object; it looked like a gigantic birdbath crossed with a church font, the bowl at the top broad and shallow. It was entirely empty. The base was covered with carvings, most of which she couldn't place, but with skulls showing up again and again. She straightened up once more and looked up at the ancient timbers of the roof. By the look of things, she was in a castle or palace of some kind — perhaps the one the TARDIS had landed outside a few minutes previously. 

"Well," a man's voice said behind her. "This is certainly a surprise." 

Rose's heart leapt into her mouth. Forcing herself to move slowly, she turned. A man was standing in one of the arched doorways. He was tall, dark, bearded, with the wary look of an experienced warrior. He carried no obvious weapon, and his leather jerkin wasn't exactly armour, but an air of danger still hung around him. 

"To my certain knowledge, the path from your world to this is closed," he went on, letting the words fall deliberately one by one. "And yet, you are here. Who are you? And how did you come here?" 

"I'm Rose." Rose swallowed. "Rose Tyler." She tried to display a calmness that she certainly didn't feel. This looked like a feudal society; they set store by titles, didn't they? "Dame Rose Tyler of the Powell Estates." 

"Then well met, Dame Rose. Treguard of Dunshelm, at your service." He bowed; whether he meant it, or indeed any of what he'd just said, Rose couldn't hope to guess. "It still remains for you to inform me how you came to be here." 

Rose shook her head. "I don't even know where this is." 

"Remarkable." Treguard spread his arms wide. "You stand in the Great Hall of Dunshelm Keep. The Castle of Confusion, as it is known to many. Few are the people from your world who have come here..." His voice hardened. "And before today, _none_ have come uninvited. So I ask you again, Rose Tyler, how you come to be the first." 

"In the TARDIS." Rose pointed at the familiar shape of the police box, where it stood beside the fireplace. "It travels through time and space." 

Treguard walked slowly to the TARDIS, and briefly rested his hand against it. "Curious," he said. "A machine. A made thing. And yet..." He stroked his beard, and his expression grew distant. "Does this machine, this TARDIS, belong to you?" 

"No, it's the Doctor's—" Rose broke off, as her memory of the Doctor's plight leapt to the forefront of her mind. "Listen, the Doctor's in trouble and I've got to help him." 

"Perhaps I can be of assistance." Treguard pulled the dustsheet off the great chair beside the fireplace, and sat down, as a monarch might take his throne. "Tell me your tale." 

"Look, there isn't time!" 

"Time here is not as you know it. Come, sit beside the fire." He gestured to a low stool on the far side of the fireplace. "Except there isn't any fire, is there? Spellcasting: F-L-A-M-E." 

As he spelt the word, he stretched out his right hand in the direction of the fireplace. Orange-red fire jumped from his hand to the logs, and in seconds they were well alight. Treguard glanced back to Rose, with a meaning that was quite unmistakeable. 

"Well," Rose began. "It's like this."


	2. Meet The Team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose throws down the gauntlet.

Treguard sat back in his chair. 

"Much of what has happened remains obscure," he said. "But I sense the hand of the Opposition in this. The castle where your friend was captured is called Marblehead. Not a pleasant place, I fear." 

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Rose tried to get her head in the right place for this world. A world of knights and magic — probably elves and dwarves and other things only nerds who played Dungeons and Dragons could name. And that meant... "There's a Dark Lord, right? Or an evil Queen or something? And Marblehead's where whoever it is hangs out?" 

Treguard gave her an appraising look. 

"You are quite correct, Dame Rose. Marblehead is the citadel of Lord Fear." 

"Yeah, it figures." Rose returned to her main concern. "Can you get the Doctor out of there?" 

"There is an incantation which in normal cases would suffice." Treguard rose to his feet. "However, you did not arrive in the normal manner, so I cannot tell what its effects might be. And whether it succeeds or no, it will alert the Opposition to our interest in your friend." 

Rose didn't hesitate. "Do it." 

"Very well. Spellcasting: U-N-I-T-E." 

Something wrenched at Rose for an instant, as if she'd caught her coat in a car door. But nothing else changed in the hall. 

"It hasn't worked, has it?" she asked. 

Before Treguard could answer, a new voice filled the hall. 

"So, Treguard, this is one of your miserable specimens," it said. 

Rose spun around. The wall she now faced was pierced by arched windows, lit by grubby grey daylight. One of the windows was now darkened, its frame edged with green sparks. Against the darkness, the figure of a man stared icily down into the hall. 

His flesh was grey, his eyes surrounded by dark shadows. Such of him as Rose could see was clad in dark armour. A bone-white helmet covered his head, leaving only his face clear. It wore an expression of malevolent amusement, and from the way that he glanced between Treguard and Rose it was obvious that he could see them just as clearly as they saw him. 

"Lord Fear," Treguard said. 

"You were expecting Venger, maybe?" the figure sneered. 

Treguard's equanimity was unruffled. "And to what do I owe the dubious pleasure of this communication?" 

"Don't try to pretend you don't know, you old windbag." The image in the window widened, showing that Lord Fear was standing in a large, circular space, perhaps the top of a tower. Pointed windows, devoid of glass, gave onto a starry sky. A little way from where Lord Fear stood, a triangular structure about four feet high and seemingly made of bone was standing on the black flagstones. And as Rose had feared, within the triangle was the Doctor. His tie was tied across his eyes, serving as a temporary blindfold, but otherwise he looked just as he had when they'd parted. 

"Let's get down to business," Lord Fear continued. "I've got Exhibit A over there. Maybe he's a brilliant technomage, maybe he's just a chattering idiot. To be honest — for once — I don't really care. What I do know is: you want him. And I'm prepared to let you have him." 

"In return?" Treguard said. 

"In return, I want a certain object. Shall we say, a large, blue box of delights? I would describe it in more detail, but since it's in that corner behind you, I won't waste my breath." 

"Will you grant us a little time to consider your offer?" 

"Why not? But don't delay too long. Or as you like to say, the results could be... naassty." 

Chuckling evilly, he faded from view. 

Rose turned to Treguard. "Isn't there anything you can do?" 

"I?" He shook his head. "I am pledged not to interfere in such matters." 

From his expression, it was clear that he was urging Rose to read more into his words than their plain meaning. She thought furiously, realised what he was hinting at, and rephrased her question. 

"Is there anything _I_ can do?" 

"There are at least three courses of action open to you. If you wish, you may surrender to Lord Fear's ultimatum and give him what he demands, with no surety that he will keep his side of the bargain. Or, you may refuse him and depart, surely dooming your friend to unknown torments in the dungeons of Marblehead." 

"Or?" Rose prompted him. It was clear from Treguard's tone that he had named these courses of action purely as a matter of form. 

"Or you may venture once more into the world beneath my castle and attempt to rescue your friend. Such a challenge cannot be refused, even by Lord Fear." 

"Then I challenge," Rose said firmly. 

"Excellent." Treguard crossed the hall to where several large chests stood against the wall, knelt before one, and lifted its lid. With a flash, a cloud of aromatic smoke burst from the chest, and rapidly coalesced into the form of a woman of Middle-Eastern appearance, clad in a loose-fitting red jacket and baggy cream-coloured trousers. She shook out her long dark hair and put her hands on her hips. 

"Treguard?" she asked, her voice sharp and Spanish-accented. "Can't a girl get a good night's sleep anywhere in this horrible castle?" 

"Not if she insists on sleeping where she's bound to be disturbed," Treguard said calmly, as he stood up once more. "Now you're here, perhaps you could equip this young lady to brave the perils of the dungeon?" 

"Her? A dungeoneer?" The woman walked around Rose, examining her from all angles. "She is too old. Perhaps your eyesight is failing you, Treguard. And what is she doing here, anyway, with the path closed?" 

"For now, Majida, it is sufficient for you that she _is_ here." 

With the expression of a put-upon underling, Majida delved in the chest. 

"Here," she said. "The helmet. The knapsack. The eye-shield. The wand." She returned to where Rose stood, and slung the knapsack over her shoulder. "Put any food you find in here. Not in your mouth." She tucked the wand into the knapsack. "With the wand, you may reach things from a distance. The helmet next." 

"As you have discovered, the illusions of the dungeon world are harmful to those not protected from them," Treguard said. "By blocking your vision, the Helmet of Justice provides that protection. And now for the eye-shield." 

"But Treguard!" Majida protested. "Who is to guide her, when she cannot see the path ahead?" 

"I do see your point." Treguard stroked his beard. "I fear that with the path closed, even if Rose were to call her friends, they could not come." 

"Hah. We shall see about that." Majida pointed at the empty font. "Come!" 

There was a flare of blue-white light, and three people were standing around the font. Rose looked from one to the other: all were people whom she'd met, in other worlds and times, and whom she'd never expected to see again. Nancy looked as if she'd just been pulled off the street; she was wearing a heavy overcoat and a gasmask was slung over her shoulder. Next to her, Lynda Moss was bent over the font, speckled with frost and gasping for breath. The trio was completed by Adam Mitchell, whose expression of astonishment quickly turned to outrage as his eyes met Rose's. 

"There," Majida said, with perhaps a hint of smugness in her voice. "They will guide Rose in her quest." 

"Just a minute!" Nancy began. 

Lynda managed to get enough air in her lungs to croak out "What happened?" 

"I must apologise for my assistant," Treguard said, turning to them. "Dame Rose finds herself in need of—" 

"You don't understand," Nancy interrupted. "There's half a dozen children waiting for me — and it's the middle of a raid. I've got to get back to them right now!" 

"Do not trouble yourself. However long you remain here, you will return to the very second of time from which you left. And now, permit me to explain what Rose asks of you." 

At what Rose thought was excessive length, he recounted the circumstances of her arrival, and her decision to challenge the dungeon which lay, somehow, both beneath his castle and somewhere else entirely. Against the vanishingly small possibility that his audience had not heard enough of the sound of his voice, he went on to explain in detail various rules of the world that Rose was about to enter. To Rose's further frustration, he then made it clear that he was expecting questions from his audience; and Adam could hardly wait to open his mouth. 

"Why do you think I'm going to help _her?_ " he asked, dignifying Rose neither with a name, nor a look in her direction. "That smug cow and her bullying boyfriend ruined my life, and now I'm supposed to pull their arses out of the fire?" 

"I like this one." Majida gave him a bright smile. "He has spirit." 

Treguard sighed. "This is what comes of letting you choose advisors." 

"Yeah," Rose added. "Why couldn't I have Mickey? Or Shareen? Even Trisha'd be better than him." 

"Then get her here," Adam retorted. "See if I care." 

Nancy looked from one to the other. "What's the problem?" 

"It's her fault I've got this stupid thing in my head," Adam said. 

"It's no-one's fault but your own!" Rose countered. 

"What stupid thing?" Nancy asked. 

"This." Rose snapped her fingers; the access port on Adam's forehead whirred open. 

"Sorcery!" Majida proclaimed. 

" _Techno_ -sorcery," Treguard said. 

Lynda boggled. "Wow, old-school," she said, her voice hoarse. "They stopped using those before I was born." 

"Right? Everyone had enough?" Adam snapped his fingers, and the port closed again. 

"You do not want this thing in your head?" Majida asked. "Then it is simple. If you help Rose and she saves the Doctor, Treguard will use Powder of Rectifiction on you, and your worthless head will be healed." 

"Rectific **a** tion," Treguard murmured. 

"If Rose fails in her quest, or you refuse, you shall be returned home as you are." She snapped her fingers triumphantly. 

"Why does everyone want to do that?" Adam moaned, as the port opened again. 

"I think it's the same as if you see a nice fluffy kitten, you want to stroke it," Lynda said. 

"Do you agree to the terms my assistant suggests?" Treguard asked. 

Adam scowled. "Under protest." 

"And you?" 

"Go on, Nancy," Rose implored. "The Doctor saved your life. And Jamie's." 

"I suppose... All right. It's only fair." 

Majida turned to Lynda. "And you?" 

Lynda cleared her throat, which didn't improve her voice. "I don't understand. The Doctor's back on the Game Station. I was there just now — the Daleks are killing everyone." 

"It's..." Rose shook her head. "It's a time travel thing. For me and the Doctor, that was months ago." 

"What happened? I saw what the Daleks were doing to Earth." Lynda closed her eyes and shuddered. "Did they—" 

"They're dust. All of them." 

"But how come the Doctor got away?" 

"Long story," Rose said diplomatically. 

Lynda turned to Treguard. "There's something I want to ask." 

"What?" 

"Please don't send me back." Her voice, still hoarse from the effect of her exposure to vacuum, dropped further. "Whatever you do. It'd kill me." 

"I shall note your request," Treguard said. "Do you have any other objection to aiding Rose in her quest?" 

Lynda gave Nancy a sideways look. "Well... the Doctor didn't exactly save my life... but I suppose it wasn't his fault. He tried. Best I can do is try, too." 

"True enough. Majida, the pool." 

Majida produced, as if from nowhere, a heavy earthenware jug. Lifting it with perhaps a little more effort than was needed, she began to pour water from it into the font. "What did your last-but-one servant die of?" she asked. 

"Battle Chess," Treguard replied simply. 

"Even a halfwit can survive Battle Chess." Majida nodded. "So he had less than half his wits. This perhaps explains why he chose to work for you in the first place." She drew a bottle of ink from her sleeve, let a single drop fall into the font, and made a couple of passes over the water. "There. It sees." 

"Splendid. Now we only require the slates." 

Majida pulled a face, and vanished. A moment later, she reappeared, with three slates in one hand, and three pieces of chalk in the other. With the same truculent air, she handed one of each to Lynda, Nancy and Adam. 

"Dame Rose," Treguard said solemnly, "The quest lies before you. You will not turn back?" 

Rose shook her head. "Nope." 

"Then the visor is lowered." Treguard suited his actions to his words. "The portcullis is raised. And— game on!"


	3. A Strange Encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since a quest is in progress, I couldn't resist beginning with a progress report.

> The path is closed, and yet there came  
>  A challenger: Rose is her name.  
>  The Doctor's held in dungeon grim  
>  And Rose must quest to rescue him.  
>  Her guides are drawn from time and space;  
>  Their first adventures they now face. 

To begin with, Rose had found it hard to shake off the sense that this was all a joke. Treguard and Majida couldn't seriously be expecting her to wander about with this clumsy helmet over her eyes, could they? 

Walking down the first corridor had been enough to convince her that they did. The visor gave her enough vision to see the floor under her feet, and thus avoid tripping over the flagstones, and Nancy proved to be an apt guide. With her vision so restricted, Rose found her other senses heightened; she was acutely aware of the drip of water, the sound of her footsteps echoing in the gloomy tunnel, the blended smells of damp and mould and sulphur. 

"Keep her away from the walls." Majida's voice was plainly audible in Rose's head, but wasn't coming through her ears. Rose supposed the helmet was in some way conveying the advice to her mind so that it couldn't be overheard. "Snapdragons lurk in the shadows." 

"Sidestep right," Nancy's voice said. "Now keep going." 

"Greetings, traveller," a new voice said. 

With a start, Rose realised that this wasn't advice coming through the helmet. There was a man standing in front of her; indeed, she'd almost walked into him. From what she could see, he was wearing a pale grey cloak and carrying a staff. 

"A dungeoneer," he said. His manner was personable, but there was a sense of impenetrable steel not too far below the surface. "It has been long since one from your world quested in the levels. What do you seek? The crown, the sword, the chalice?" 

"I'm looking for the Doctor," Rose said. 

"And your name?" 

"Rose." 

"I am known as Brother Strange. So, Rose, you seek a doctor? You do not appear to be ill. And if you are, I fear you will find little comfort in this dire place. There is a travelling apothecary who may sometimes be found in the dungeon, but I cannot recommend his wares. Except to those who have nothing to lose." 

"No, I mean this man I travel with. The Doctor's his name... at least, I think it is. Lord Fear's got him." 

"Then he is clearly in peril. I will do what I can to help you, Rose, if you could but do me a favour. I am known as a collector of proverbs. Perhaps you might add to my collection." 

"What, like 'look before you leap' or something?" 

"Alas, that one is already in my book." 

"How about 'the road to Hell is paved with good intentions'?" Nancy's voice suggested. 

Rose repeated the proverb, though with no great hopes. If this friar had been collecting for any length of time, he'd be sure to have encountered anything she could come up with. 

"That, too, is known to me," was the answer she'd half-expected. 

"Bet he won't know this one," Lynda's voice said. "'You'd sooner get honey from an Antarean than truth out of Boeshane.'" 

Once more, Rose repeated the proverb. This time, she seemed to catch Brother Strange's interest; while she couldn't see him writing, she could hear the scratch of his quill pen as he transcribed the words. He even checked the correct spelling of the proper names. 

"Thank you," he said. "And in return, I will give you what information I can. To travel beyond the first level, you will need four words. I know only the first two, which are 'Ruby' and 'Gold'. Farewell and good fortune, Rose." 

Not pausing to wait for a reply, he walked past her. His footsteps faded into the distance. 

"Weird guy," Lynda's voice said. 

"You're telling me. What do I do now?" 

"Keep walking." 

Rose walked on. After a few dozen paces, there was a sudden moment of disorientation; she felt the hairs on the back of her neck standing up, and shuddering echoes died away in her ears. 

"What happened?" she asked. 

"You're somewhere else now," Nancy said. "In a room. The walls look like stone, sort of bluish. There's a door at the other end, and a table to your right with some stuff on it." 

"You'd better look at the table," Lynda added. 

"You must guide her to it, team," Treguard's patient voice suggested, seeming to come from a greater distance than the others'. 

"OK. Turn a bit to your right... back a bit... now walk forward." 

Rose walked, moving slowly to keep her balance. The flagstones under her feet were green and slippery with algae, and between that and the helmet she found it a trial not to lose her footing. Having reached the table without incident, she examined its contents. 

"What can you see?" Nancy asked. 

"There's a... I dunno. A great big red jewel, like a ruby or something." Rose cautiously touched the gem, and saw scarlet light flare in its depths. "It's warm if I touch it. Then there's a bag... it says 'caltrops'. And a bracelet with a picture of an eye on it, and a scroll, and something that looks like a big magnifying glass." 

"Ah!" Majida's voice said. "A spyglass! With this, your friends may, for a short while, spy undetected upon the Opposition. You should use it at once." 

"How?" Rose asked. 

"Hold it up before the eyeshield," Treguard said. 

Taking the spyglass in one hand, Rose held it over the shield, so that its circular lens covered the painted eye. 

In the Great Hall, where Rose's three guides were staring intently into the pool, the image rippled and changed. Instead of the grim dungeon chamber where Rose was standing, it showed the black, arch-ringed circle that was the summit of Marblehead Tower. Two figures, deep in conversation, walked across its surface: Rose would have recognised one as Lord Fear, while the other, green-skinned, scaly and obsequious, was clearly one of his subordinates. 

"Lissard," Lord Fear's harsh voice said. "We have an intruder. Another dungeoneer to deal with." 

"More kidsies, lordness?" the lizardman asked. 

"No, not this time. I think the proper term for this one is _wench_." 

An oleaginous note entered the lizardman's voice. "Is she pretty, lordness?" 

"I suppose so. Reasonably. She's got all the right... curves, and so on." Lord Fear sounded slightly puzzled, as if he was familiar with the concept of beauty but couldn't see the point of it. "More teeth than a family of snapdragons, but if she's wearing the usual helmet that won't show." 

"Is she prettier than I was?" Lissard persisted. "When you made me into a wenchness?" 

The Dark Lord of the Greater Dungeon shot him a why-do-I-put-up-with-this look. "No, she isn't. Happy now?" 

"Yes, lordne—" 

"Good. Because I need you to make yourself useful, Tuna-breath. I want everything we've got out there and ready to grab her. Dreadnoughts, Frightknights, blockers, the works. Oh, and I've got an idea about the trapdoors, too..." 

"Rose!" Majida shouted, her voice urgent. "Drop the spyglass and stand back!" 

The vision in the pool changed back to Rose, who was already setting the spyglass on the ground. As she jumped away, she felt, though she did not see, the fireball that shot upward out of the spyglass and smashed against the ceiling. 

"Now what?" she asked. 

"Did you hear all that?" Lynda said. 

"Yeah. Nice bloke, isn't he?" 

"He reminds me a bit of the guy who hosted series three of _Score With The Schizospawners_. Did they have that in your time?" 

"Never heard of it." Rose turned back to the table. "Do you think I should read this scroll?" 

"Go on." 

Rose opened the scroll. "It says: For use, not ornament." 

"Doesn't help a lot, does it?" 

"Come to think of it, who left all this stuff here anyway?" Rose set the scroll down, and gestured at the litter on the table. "And is it OK if we just take it without asking?" 

"By the rules of the quest, you may take at most two objects," Treguard's voice said. "They are placed here for the benefit of questers such as yourself." 

"OK, then." Rose looked over the objects again. "Well, there's no point bringing the scroll or what's left of the spyglass. So it's the bracelet, the caltrops, or the jewel. What are caltrops, anyway?" 

There was a lengthy pause. 

"You scatter them on the ground and they stick in horses' feet," Adam's bored-sounding voice eventually said. 

"Oh, you are awake, then," Nancy said. "Are you helping or aren't you?" 

"You all seemed to be doing fine without me," Adam replied. "Anyway, now you know what caltrops are you can make up your minds if you want them." 

"I don't think we do. Rose, I think you should take the bracelet and the jewel." 

Rose tucked the jewel into her knapsack, then picked up the bracelet. 

"I think I should try it on," she said. "That scroll says 'for use, not ornament.' Maybe it does something." 

"OK, but if we say to take it off, take it off at once." 

Rose slid the bracelet onto her wrist. 

"Rose! Are you there?" Lynda wasn't quite shouting, but she sounded panicked. 

"Yeah. I'm still here." Rose looked down, and realised that she couldn't see her legs or trainers any more. "You can't see me, right?" 

"Right. Take the bracelet off again." 

This time Rose watched the empty space where she knew her hands were. As she pulled the bracelet off, her body faded back into view. 

"I don't think we can use it," Lynda said. "If we can't see you we can't tell you where to go." 

"You want me to take the caltrops instead, then?" Rose asked. 

"Keep the bracelet," Nancy said. "Maybe we can trade it for something." 

"You're wasting life force, team," Treguard remarked. 

Hurriedly, Rose stuffed the bracelet into the knapsack. Weakness was beginning to creep up her legs — not the sudden, irresistible dizziness she'd felt when she first left the TARDIS, but no less insidious for that. 

"Now sidestep left. Stop. Go forward." 

Again, that brief moment of discomfort as she stepped through the archway into whatever lay beyond. 

"Where am I?" she asked. 

"You're on one side of a room," Nancy said. "It's made of the same stone as before. There are four loopholes in the wall at one end, and— oh!" 

Rose felt, rather than heard, the _whoosh_ as something large and hot and fast whizzed past her face. 

"That was a fireball," Nancy said. 

More _whooshes_ , some near, some far, one so close that Rose wondered if, without the Helmet of Justice, she'd still have her eyebrows. 

"The pattern repeats every fifteen seconds," Adam presently said, still sounding bored. "Turn right ninety degrees. Wait..." 

Another fireball close enough for Rose to feel the heat and smell the sulphur. 

"Four. Three. Two. One. Walk forward... stop. Do you think you two can manage now?" 

"If you're going to talk to me like that, you can go home now," Nancy retorted. "Rose—" 

"Wait!" It was Majida's voice, sounding urgent. "There is a shortcut in this room, is there not? With it, Rose can be transported directly to Level Three." 

"Quite true, Majida," Treguard replied, as unruffled as ever. "It remains to be seen whether the wand still has power to open it. Rose, do you wish to attempt this path?" 

"Of course I do!" Rose replied. "We've got to get the Doctor out of there as soon as possible." 

"Then take the wand, and aim it between the middle two loopholes. Team, you must guide her aim." 

Rose rummaged in her knapsack and drew out the wand. She held it at arm's length, feeling anew the ridiculousness of her situation. 

"Turn to your left," Lynda said. "Point the wand up a bit... now right... That's the place." She waited. "Nothing's happening." 

"Squeeze the base of the wand," Treguard suggested. 

"There's a door opening now," Lynda said. "And— Oh my God!" 

"A Frightknight!" Majida shouted, at the same time. 

In the Great Hall, the three observers gripped the edge of the Pool of Veracity, staring down helplessly into its depths. From the newly-revealed doorway, a figure had emerged. It resembled the top half of an armoured knight, impregnable in mail, gauntlets and helmet, a colossal sword gripped in both hands. It lacked any form of legs; below the waist, it had only a vaguely tail-like appendage which ended some way above the ground, leaving the apparition without any means of support. 

The lack of legs did not seem to affect the Frightknight's mobility. The moment the secret door was wide enough to admit it, it glided forward with inhuman speed, its weapon raised to strike. The sword was aimed directly at Rose's heart.


	4. The Thief And The Jester

> Rose ventures still in Level One,  
> Her quest of rescue scarce begun.  
> With magic wand she made assay  
> To find the hidden shortcut way.  
> But sprung a trap, and we're dismayed:  
> Will she escape the Frightknight's blade?

"Turn right and run!" Nancy shouted. 

Inside the helmet, unable to see what was bearing down on her, Rose was probably in less of a panic than Majida or her advisors. Without hesitation, she turned and ran. Something whipped past her, moving as fast as a fireball, but deathly cold. 

"Zigzag!" Nancy's voice commanded, still full of urgency. Rose swerved as she was bidden, and again felt the chilly presence shoot past her, this time on the right. It was followed, a moment later, by a fireball zipping past her left shoulder. 

"Sharp right! Now!" 

Rose turned again, not slackening her pace. From some trick of the acoustic, she guessed she must be near a wall. 

"One sidestep left. Keep going!" 

A glancing blow on her elbow from the stone pillar of the doorway, and then Rose was into the portal. She could hear muffled sighs of relief from her advisors. 

"Keep walking," Lynda said. "You're in a corridor again." 

"What happened back there?" Rose asked. "Something was chasing me, I got that much." 

"It looked like the top half of someone in armour," Nancy said. "Hovering above the ground. The fireballs just bounced off it. And it was _fast_ , Rose. One second slower and you'd have been chopped in half." 

"It was a Frightknight," Treguard's voice added. "A creature of metal, swift but mindless, animated by sorcery." 

"I have not seen them loose in the dungeon before," Majida said. "Only standing on guard, above a causeway." 

"Yes... Lord Fear seems to think you worthy of special treatment, Dame Rose." 

"Dame?" Majida repeated. "That is the same as a knight, no? The other dungeoneers, the little ones, they were not even squires. What do the rules say the Opposition can do, if the dungeoneer is already a knight?" 

"You raise a good point, Majida. I fear Dame Rose's path through the dungeon may be more difficult than we are accustomed to." 

"We are accustomed to dungeoneers being killed!" Majida pointed out. "The dragons eat them, or they fall off the causeways, or they run out of food. And then you say, 'what a pity.'" 

"Talking about food," Rose said. She couldn't have been on her quest more than ten minutes, but she was feeling as if she hadn't eaten for ten hours or more. "I'm starving." 

"Your life force is low," Treguard said. "But do not stop, Rose. I fear the Frightknight may be in pursuit." 

Even though she knew the helmet would make it a pointless action, Rose had to force herself not to look over her shoulder. She concentrated on maintaining her pace, though her sides were aching as if she'd just run all the way to the station from her flat. She tried not to think of hideous mechanical monsters gliding up behind her, of a yard-long sword slicing into her unprotected back... 

By now, the disorientation as she passed through the portal into the next chamber was almost a relief. 

"Where am—" she began. 

"Hello, who are you?" a woman's voice asked. She sounded quite upperclass and sporty — Rose was reminded of some of the customers she'd dealt with at Henrik's. Posh girls who talked about gymkhanas and hockey the whole time, and certainly hadn't deigned to notice _her_. 

"I'm Rose," she said, unable to summon up the energy for her full name and title. 

"And what are you? Paladin? Rogue? Bard?" 

"I'm a dungeoneer." The thought of what might be pursuing her, which had momentarily slipped from Rose's mind, returned with full force. Not waiting for instructions, she moved to her right, so the doorway was no longer at her back. "Listen, there's something coming after me..." 

Almost before the words were out of her mouth, she felt the rush of cold air, as the Frightknight passed within inches of her elbow. A moment later, a gasp of effort from the woman; she sounded like a tennis champion, returning a lethal serve. Something whistled through the air, and metal clanged against metal. A horrible grinding filled the chamber, its pitch slowly lowering until, with a final rasp, it stopped. 

"Number Two throwing knife. That should hold him for a while," the woman's voice said. "Thanks for the warning, Rose." Footsteps approached her, and a moment later the woman was standing before her. From her restricted viewpoint, Rose formed the general impression that her rescuer was of athletic build, and dressed in a leather costume that tended to the skimpy. "You ought to be more careful about your choice of friends." 

"That wasn't my friend." Rose leaned against the wall, lassitude creeping over her. "It was a... what d'you call it?" 

"Frightknight," Adam said. 

"Frightknight. I tried to take a shortcut or something and it was waiting for me there." 

"Seriously? That's a nuisance." The woman sounded quite put out. "That means Lord Fear's found out about the shortcut. And if he has, I won't be able to use it. I'm a thief, you see, Rose. Third grade. They call me Stiletta, by the way." 

"So your job is, you nick stuff?" 

"All the good loot's down in Level Three. And without the shortcut it'll be a dreadful nuisance getting past all those guards. I wish I still had my cloak of invisibility." 

"What happened to it?" 

Stiletta sounded faintly embarrassed. "I must have left it somewhere. Probably got distracted at the wrong moment. I've looked everywhere, but—" 

Rose completed the sentence for her. "But you can't see it." 

"That's right. I even bought a potion of True Seeing from that quack Rothberry. Imagine! Me, buying something honestly! Of course, I'd stolen the money, so I suppose I didn't technically break Guild rules, but it's jolly annoying all the same." 

"And the potion?" 

"Didn't work. Or maybe it did, but there wasn't anything in the room at the time. Anyway, I really ought to be getting along." 

"Rose?" It was Nancy's voice in her ear. "I think we should offer her the bracelet. She wants something to make her invisible and we can't use it." 

"And what do we get out of it?" Adam asked. 

"Depends what sort of a deal Rose can do, doesn't it?" 

Rose took a deep breath. "I've got this bracelet that makes you invisible. Look." She extracted the bracelet from her knapsack and slid it onto her wrist; after a moment or two, she pulled it off again. "Is that any good to you?" 

"Gosh." Stiletta sounded more like an enthusiastic schoolgirl than ever. "That's just the sort of thing I need. Tell you what. If you give me that, you can have my potion of True Seeing. I won't need it any more, will I?" 

"You said it didn't work." 

"I said it _might_ not work." 

"Yeah, but the bracelet definitely does. So I'm down on the deal, aren't I?" 

"I'm not sure what else I've got. You wouldn't have much use for a throwing knife, would you? Not in that helmet. And you must know the passwords already." 

"Passwords!" Lynda sounded like she had a frog in her throat, but there was no mistaking her urgency. "Rose, ask her about the passwords." 

"You could tell me the passwords," Rose said. "You know, just to make sure." 

"And if I do, you'll give me the bracelet?" 

"For the potion." 

"You want the potion _and_ all the passwords? That's too much!" 

"How about the potion and just the last two passwords?" 

Stiletta paused a moment in thought. "Done. The last two passwords are Star and Ice. Here's the potion." 

"And here's the bracelet." Rose handed it over, receiving the potion in her outstretched hand. "Pleasure doing business with you." 

"Thanks, Rose. And now I really must be going. See what this bracelet can do for me." She slipped it onto her wrist; the bits of her that Rose could see faded at once from sight. 

"You never said where I am," Rose said, still leaning against the wall. 

"All these bits of dungeon look the same," Lynda said. "Stone walls and slime on the floor. Hang on. What's that over there?" 

"Food, I think," Treguard's voice said. "Food which Rose urgently needs. You should guide her to it, team." 

"OK. Turn a bit to your right, Rose, and walk forward." 

Staggering slightly, Rose followed the directions, and crouched down as instructed. Lying on the flagstones was what looked like a hunk of cheese, shot through with greenish veins and none too clean. Rose thought she'd never seen anything so unappetising, but she nevertheless picked it up and slipped it into the knapsack. Strength instantly returned to her weary limbs. 

"That's better," she said. "Now what?" 

There was a mechanical clanking noise, somewhere off to her left. 

"That's the Frightknight moving," Nancy said. "I think maybe it's trying to get up. You'd better get out of there, Rose." 

The sensation of passing through a portal was familiar to Rose by now. The floor under her feet changed from slime-streaked flagstones to some kind of pumice, and the smell of sulphur was stronger here, but in all other respects Nancy assured her that the room she'd entered was identical to the one she'd just left. 

"There's a spyglass on the floor," Lynda said. "Walk forward. Can you see it?" 

"Yeah. Do you want me to use it?" 

"Go on." 

Rose held the spyglass up. She couldn't see what it was showing her advisors, but the voices were clear in her ears. 

"Doctor," Lissard's voice hissed. "Greetingses." 

"You." The Doctor's tone was reasonable, with an underlying defiance; Rose felt her heart leap at the sound of his voice. "Are you on your own?" 

"I am. Lordness is occupied." 

"Of course, I've only got your word for that, haven't I?" Rose could almost see him, holding forth from within his cage of bone. "For all I know he's standing over there in the corner listening to every word we say." 

Lissard sounded offended. "Nobody observes us, Doctor. My offerness is for your ears alone." 

"Go on." 

"We know that a new challenger has entered the dungeon. A wenchness, with golden hair, and many teeth." 

"Do you mean...?" There was a new sharpness to the Doctor's tone. "Tell me her name." 

"Alas, it is not known to me." 

"Then what _do_ you know?" 

"Many have challenged the dungeon," Lissard said. "Few are those who survived. Perhaps she has already fallen." He paused, as if judging the effect his words were having. "If she has not, soon, soon she will. Unless..." 

"Unless I do what you say. And what is your demand?" 

"The pretty wand, Doctor. I would know its secrets." 

"No." A flat negation. "I don't trust you, and I certainly don't trust your boss. If this challenger of yours is who I think she is, I'd back her against the lot of you." 

"You will regret this, Doctor." Lissard paused, doubtless for effect. "And so will the wenchness." 

Rose listened intently, not daring to breathe, but there were no sounds of torture or screams of agony. It seemed that Lissard was simply walking away. 

"By the way," the Doctor's voice said, casually. 

"What?" 

"Atlantean, aren't you? Thought I recognised the accent." 

All the menace was gone from Lissard's voice, replaced by surprise. "You know of our people?" 

"Several times over." Rose could picture the Doctor's expression. "Did you ever meet someone called Zaroff?" 

"I have not. Why?" 

"I was just wondering if you make a habit of signing on with world-destroying megalomaniacs..." 

"Rose, drop the spyglass!" Lynda called. 

Rose set the spyglass down. As she straightened up, it burst into flames, the fire consuming both the spyglass, and the section of floor it lay on. Smoke rose from the hole, and an infernal, flickering light shone upward. 

"Did you see the Doctor?" she asked. 

"It wasn't the Doctor," Lynda said. "It was just some skinny guy in a brown suit. He wasn't anything like as hot as the Doctor — don't you think so, Nancy?" 

"No, that's him," Rose said firmly, not caring for Lynda's line of thought. "The Doctor can change into —" 

Before she could get any further with her explanation, she heard the familiar _whoosh_ of a fireball. This time, it seemed to drop from above, landing somewhere to her right. 

"I suggest you leave your discussion till later," Treguard's voice said. "Or you may not survive long enough to have it." 

"Rose, you've got to get out of there," Nancy said. "That fireball knocked a hole in the floor... there's another one!" 

The impact was closer, this time. 

"OK. Sidestep right. Again. Now go forward. Stop!" 

This time Rose saw the fireball hit the tile just before her. She blinked, trying to clear her eyes of the afterimages. 

"Sidestep left. Now run forward." 

The floor under Rose's feet changed again; this time, she was standing on relatively new-looking wooden floorboards. Following Nancy's directions, she walked forward until the boards were divided by a strip of tarnished brass. 

"You're standing at the edge of a trapdoor," Nancy explained. "A big one. If it was open you could fit a car through it, no problem." 

"So this is where we use the passwords, right?" Rose asked. 

"Right. You got them, Lynda?" 

As Lynda read the words out, Rose repeated them. "Ruby. Gold. Star. Ice." 

There was a loud click beneath the floor, as a hidden mechanism responded to Rose's words, but no opening appeared. 

"Try pushing it," Lynda suggested. 

"How?" 

"Put your foot on the trapdoor." 

"Here?" Rose asked, pushing her foot across the brass-bound edge. 

"That's right. Now put some weight on it." 

Cautiously, Rose leaned forward. The boards under her foot creaked, but the trapdoor remained resolutely closed. Stepping fully onto the trapdoor was no more effective; nor was jumping. 

"Well, if it isn't a dungeoneer," a cheerful male voice behind her said. "Not seen one of them in a while." Footsteps approached, accompanied by the jingling of bells. "What brings you here? As if I couldn't guess. Thrills, adventure, the joy of the quest, the risk of getting flambéed by a dragon... Sorry, ain't introduced myself, have I?" He was now close enough for Rose to see the red and yellow tights and the tails of his jacket, so his next words came as little surprise. "I'm Motley. The world's greatest jester, even if I do say so myself." 

"I'm Rose." Rose felt herself warming to him; his cocksure air reminded her of the Doctor. 

"Always a pleasure to meet new people. Have you heard the one about the court magician and the dancing girl? No, maybe that's not suitable for a girl of your tender age. Anyway, what's a sweet young thing like you doing in a depressing dungeon like this?" 

"I'm trying to get through the trapdoor." Rose gestured at her feet. "But it won't open. Does it need more weight or something?" 

"Oh. The trapdoor," Motley said. "Don't waste your time with that, Rose. A gang of mire-men came through earlier and nailed all the trapdoors shut. Don't know what I'll do to get to Level Two now. I was going to play my lute under Sidriss's window. Mind you, the last time I did that, she turned me into a frog." 

"Into a frog?" Rose repeated. 

"I'm sure she didn't mean to. It's just her way." There was another jingle of bells as the jester essayed a caper. "I suppose, if I can't get to Level Two, and you can't get to Level Two, we're both stuck here. Don't fancy dinner, do you, Rose? You wouldn't have to put up with my ugly mug, on account of that helmet you're wearing." 

"No thanks," Rose said. "Sorry, I mean, you sound nice but... I can't." 

"Well, bear it in mind. There's worse ways to spend an evening." 

With another clattering of bells, he was gone. 

"So much for the trapdoor, then," Nancy said. "What do we do now?" 

"You must go on," Treguard replied. "Try to find some other way down."


	5. A Matter Of Parity

> The Doctor lives, as best we know,  
>  And to his rescue Rose doth go.  
>  From knight's pursuit she found relief  
>  And friendship with a warrior thief.  
>  But with the trapdoors nailed and locked  
>  Her way to Level Two is blocked.

From the image in the Pool of Veracity, it was plain that if the dungeon had been designed, it was by someone who, having found a formula, stuck to it. Almost every aspect of the room Rose now stood in was familiar to the three watchers: the flagged floor, the bluish walls, the dim, grubby light with no apparent source. What was different, this time, was the design of the far wall. It was divided into a grid of tiles, four on each side. Fifteen of the tiles were marked with letters; where the sixteenth should have been, in the bottom right-hand corner, was a blank. In order, the four lines read 

RAYO  
IUBD  
GRTL  
CES 

"It's one of those puzzles," Nancy said. "Where you've got to slide the blocks around and make words." 

"What words?" Rose asked. 

"It's got to be the passwords again. Don't you think?" 

Lynda nodded, scribbling on her slate. "Ruby, gold, star, ice." She ticked off the letters, one by one. "I think we need to use the—" Briefly, she was racked by a coughing fit. "—the wand." 

"But Rose cannot see," Majida protested. "This is not possible." 

Lynda and Nancy briefly conferred. Lynda leaned across to see if Adam had any suggestions, but he still appeared to be sulking. 

"Rose," Lynda said. "I think maybe we should try the potion of true seeing." She glanced across at Majida, wondering if she'd imagined the slight nod. "Yeah. Drink some of it." 

"OK." Rose raised the potion to her lips. "Tastes a bit like cough mixture. I can see a bit now. You reckon I've got to make that lot into the passwords?" 

"That's right. Get your wand out and point it at the 'O'." 

Rose drew the wand and aimed it. With a sound of grating stone, the three blocks on the right of the puzzle slid down. 

"Now the 'Y.'" 

Again, Rose pointed and clicked. 

"I hope you know what you're doing," she said. "I don't want to starve to death doing this." 

⁂

"I don't get it." Lynda sounded on the point of tears. "We've tried everything." 

Rose looked up at the wall, seeing it as if through smeared, grimy glass. Its inscription seemed to mock her: 

RUBY  
GOLD  
STAR  
IEC

Over half the time she and her advisors had spent on the puzzle had been taken up with trying to get those last two letters into position, to no avail whatsoever. She could already feel the first pangs of weakness as her life force began to drain away again. 

In the Great Hall, an air of gloom had settled on the three advisors, broken only by Lynda's occasional coughing fits. It seemed that, for the moment, they were out of ideas. 

"Of course!" Adam leaned forward suddenly. "Rose, point at 'I'. Now the 'R', the one in the top corner." 

"But that one was right," Nancy protested. 

"It's a trick. It's the _other_ 'R' that goes there. We need to swap them over. Point at 'U'. Now 'T'. Now the other 'R.'" 

Whether it was luck, or whether Adam really was as clever as he thought he was, it was scarcely any time before the last piece of the puzzle ground into place. With a low, almost musical note, each of the fifteen tiles flipped over. Now, they made up a picture, of a valley surrounded by towering cliffs. 

"I can't see," Rose said. "The potion's worn off again. What's happened?" 

"The puzzle's turned into a picture," Nancy said. "It's a valley, with a dragon in it." 

"It's not a picture," Lynda added. "It's moving." 

"What, it's a real dragon?" Rose asked, her alarm evident in her voice. 

"Do not fear," Treguard said. "As dragons go, Smirkenorff is quite approachable. He may even take you to Level Two — provided you can pay him the appropriate fare." 

"Walk forward," Adam commanded. "With any luck, the dragon'll take that jewel you picked up." 

Nancy and Lynda exchanged amused glances, whose meaning was clear. _Not so above it after all now, are you?_

Rose stepped forward, feeling the close atmosphere of the dungeon give way to fresh outdoor air. Beneath her feet were smooth green scales; she must be walking along the dragon's back. Taking care to keep her balance, she kept going until she came to what was obviously a saddle. She made to sit down, but before she could, a deep, smooth voice addressed her. 

"Ah," it said. "A human." 

"That's the dragon," Lynda said. "He's looking at you over his shoulder." 

"Why do you trouble me, little human?" the dragon's voice asked. 

"I'm trying to get to Level Two," Rose said. 

"I am certainly able to take you there. But why should I?" 

"Show him the jewel," Adam said. 

"Yeah, I know." Rose extracted the gem from her knapsack and held it up. "Is this any good to you?" 

"A firestone. Most acceptable." There was a brief sensation of movement in front of Rose, and the jewel was plucked out of her hand. "Take your seat, young lady." 

Rose lowered herself into the saddle. Almost at once, she felt the dragon launch itself into the air, though she could see nothing of the flight bar the dragon's muscles moving under its scales. 

"Tell her where she is, team," Treguard's voice said. 

"You're flying over mountains," Lynda said. "I don't get it. Wasn't Rose underground just now?" 

"The dungeon world does not follow the rules of your mundane geography. You see the lower slopes of Mount Dychryn — and I believe Smirkenorff is conveying Rose to the far side of that mountain." 

"It looks like you're coming in to land," Nancy said, a short while later. 

Rose remained in the saddle until the dragon's wings ceased to beat. Then she rose to her feet, said "Thank you," and walked down the creature's tail until she reached ground level. There was grass under her feet, dotted with small white flowers. 

"There's a cave to your left," Adam said. "Turn to ten o'clock and walk forward." 

Rose couldn't resist lingering for a moment, to appreciate what might be her last moment of daylight and peace. Then she stepped forward, and felt the walls of the dungeon close around her once more. 

"Where am I?" she asked, though she was getting a pretty good idea from the distant sound of trickling water and the echoes, not to mention the smell. 

"You're underground again," Nancy said. "There's a portcullis in front of you, but it's open." 

"I know this place," Majida said. "This is Goth. Lord Fear used to live here, in a great black tower. Now the tower is a ruin. It was his own fault," she added, more or less as an afterthought. "He imprisoned a creature of magic and made it his slave. When the creature was freed, it tore the tower down, stone by stone. I think there is a moral here, Mister Treguard?" 

"As I have told you on numerous occasions, Majida, you are not a slave, and you are free to leave whenever you choose to." Treguard cleared his throat. "Goth is no longer Lord Fear's headquarters, but his lesser servants still roam here. Caution is advisable." 

"There's a spyglass on the floor just past the portcullis," Adam said. "I suppose we'd better use it. Walk forward, Rose." 

Rose did so. As she passed under the portcullis, she half-expected it to crash down on her, but it remained exactly where it was. Securing the spyglass, she held it up to the eyeshield. 

Back in the Great Hall, Rose's three guides watched as, once more, the summit of Marblehead came into view. Lord Fear was pacing, his seneschal at his side. 

"I am not pleased, Lissard. This new dungeoneer—" 

"The wenchness, Lordness?" 

"Yes. Her." Lord Fear shook his head. "I hope you're not falling for her; she's hardly your sort. Not green or scaly at all, and I bet she doesn't smell like a fishmonger's apron." He shook his head. "She's obviously no pushover, anyway. She might even get as far as Level Three." He turned to face one of the empty arches, and made a complicated gesture. Green fire outlined the archway, and within it, the image appeared of a slender, pale, dark-haired woman with a disdainful expression. 

"Lord Fear," she said. "To what do I owe this displeasure?" 

"Maldamé." Lord Fear made a brief, perfunctory bow. "I have a request to make of you." 

"You? I would sooner see you hanged in your seneschal's entrails." She leaned forward. "For you, the price for any favour will be a high one." 

It seemed to be costing Lord Fear an effort to keep his temper. "Then name your price, madam." 

"First, tell me what you want of me." 

"There is a dungeoneer attempting to reach Marblehead. She may well try to approach through Linghorm; if she does, I wish you to refuse her passage." 

"I see. And now I shall name my price: I require two starstones, alike in every particular. Bring them to me, and you will have your favour." 

She faded from view. 

"Starstones, Lordness!" Lissard looked as if he'd just heard that Lord Fear was leaving all his money to a home for stray cats. "There are no starstones in all of Marblehead!" 

Lord Fear put an arm round his shoulders. "That'll be why she asked for them, won't it? But what she doesn't know is that there was certainly one in our treasury when we were back at the Black Tower of Goth." 

"But that was stolen, Lordness, when the grey shapeless thingness—" 

"Maybe, but I'd be willing to bet it's still somewhere in Goth. I know: I'll have that little vermin Hands find it. He's got a knack for sniffing out valuables that don't belong to him. And once I've got one, I'll use the TWIN spell to make an identical copy. Easy when you know how, isn't it?" He held up his hand, silencing whatever sycophancy Lissard was preparing. "Now, we need to keep Hordriss out of the way of this dungeoneer. He's a pompous old fool, but he's got some real power, and if she finds a way to make use of him..." 

"Drop the spyglass!" Nancy called. Rose did so, and once more felt a gust of hot air wash over her as the fireball expired harmlessly on the floor. 

"OK," Rose said. "I suppose we'd better get moving." 

"Just walk forward," Lynda said. 

"Sounds like we need to get hold of that starstone before Lord Fear does," Nancy added. "And perhaps a TWIN spell, too, if we're going to get on the right side of this Maldamé." 

"You will need both before she gives you the time of day," Majida said. "She thinks she is too good for anyone." 

"If you've got a moment, where am I now?" Rose asked. 

"It looks like a courtyard," Lynda said. "There's two doors and three little windows, and there's a man here with a barrow. He's wearing sort of grey robes and a weird black hat. It looks like he's selling stuff in bottles. Perfume or something." 

Guided by her three advisors, Rose swiftly closed the distance between her and the cart. 

"Hello," the stallholder said. He had rather a fussy, flustered voice. "How can I help you?" 

"I'm on a quest to rescue the Doctor," Rose said. 

"The doctor? If you require a doctor, young lady, you need look no further. I am none other than Rothberry — the apothecary. If you have any ailments, I'm sure I'll be happy to help you. Do you find yourself in need of stomach pills, perhaps? They're also quite good at unblocking—" 

Rose held up her hand to stop the flow of words. "Sorry, I didn't mean a doctor doctor. I meant— well, it's a friend. He's in Lord Fear's dungeons and I'm going to rescue him." 

"Dear me. I wish you good luck in your quest, and— ah. Do I see from your knapsack that you have been taking one of my potions? Yes, the Potion of True Seeing. I hope you found it satisfactory?" 

"It worked a treat," Rose said. 

"Might I ask for a small testimonial to that effect? Some of the public, I regret to say, are reluctant to trust my recipes. I will, of course, reward you suitably." 

Rose forced herself not to fidget. She needed all the help she could get, even if her instinct was to hurry on. "I suppose so." 

"Well, then." A parchment was placed in front of her, already filled with hooked, impenetrable handwriting. "Would you make your mark here, please? Or sign your name, if you— ah, splendid. In return, perhaps you'll accept this complimentary phial of..." He tailed off. Rose could hear a bottle being uncorked, followed by sniffing. "This complimentary phial of something — I don't quite recall what it was. And I'll relieve you of the other bottle. I'm afraid there's no money back on the empties." 

"Um. Thank you." Rose looked down at the phial that had been pressed into her hand; it contained a dense, purple-coloured liquid. 

"You're sure you don't want anything else? I'm doing a special on wart powders at the moment." 

Rose shook her head. "I don't have any warts." 

"Oh. Would you like some?" 

"No thanks," Rose said firmly. "Look, I've got to be getting along." 

"And I must be about my rounds." The apothecary began to push his barrow away. "A pleasure doing business with you, young lady." 

"He's gone," Adam said, a few moments later. "Wonder what that stuff he gave you is?" 

"Don't think I'd risk drinking it," Nancy said. "Like that monk said, it'd have to be an emergency." 

Guided by her advisors, Rose passed through the right-hand door of the courtyard, and, at the same time, through a portal. The stench of decay in the air was suddenly far worse, and the sounds of lapping water were close at hand. 

"Where am I?" she asked, trying not to gag. 

"You're underground," Nancy said. "And in front of you there's what looks like a river, except it's bright green." 

"Before you lies the great sewer of Goth," Treguard intoned. "Be careful not to fall in." 

"If you do, you do not drown," Majida added. "Maybe you die of poison, maybe the mire-men get you." 

Rose remembered the green, bug-eyed humanoids that had captured the Doctor. 

"If they're around, does that mean we're getting close to Marblehead?" she asked. 

"Thus far, you have walked less than half of the road," Treguard told her. 

Rose sighed. "That figures." 

"There's something on the floor just to your left," Lynda said. "Take a couple of sidesteps." 

Rose secured the cauliflower, and slipped it into her knapsack. Once again, fresh life and energy filled her body. 

"So which way do we—" she began. 

"Who are you?" a woman's voice asked. A few moments later, someone was standing before Rose; someone who wore a full-length silk skirt in a regrettable shade of hot pink, and a black blouse with red ribbons, that seemed to be imitating the style of a corset. 

Buoyed up by her recent energy boost, Rose answered with her full title. "Dame Rose Tyler of the Powell Estates." 

"I'm Sidriss," the other replied. Like Stiletta, her accent was unquestionably posh, but Rose's impression this time was of a different world: parties and clubbing, rather than hockey or gymkhanas. "My father's Hordriss the Confuser. I'm looking for him at the moment, but he doesn't seem to be around. You haven't seen him, have you? Well, not _seen_ , in that helmet thing, but met him?" 

"I don't think so," Rose said. 

"Oh, you'd know, if you had." 

"Rose," Adam said. "Remember Lord Fear said something about keeping Hordriss out of the way?" 

"Anyway," Sidriss said. "I'm going back to our quarters to see if he's there. Why don't you come too? It's just a short boat trip. Hop in and— oh!" The pink dress spun before Rose, as Sidriss looked this way and that. "But I tied my boat up here. It can't have vanished!" 

Taking Rose by the arm, she hurried to the edge of the sewer. Tied to an iron ring, a rope disappeared into the stinking green depths, but of the boat there was no other sign. 

"I think someone must've sunk your boat," Rose said, forming in her mind a good idea of who that someone must be. "We're trapped here."


	6. A Word Or A Limb

> Dame Rose still ventures underground;  
> With Adam's help, the path she found.  
> By dragon brought to Level Two  
> She met new friends, and dangers new.  
> Without a boat, the road is barred.  
> Can Sidriss bring her past the guard?

"We can't stay here," Sidriss said firmly. "Look — oh, you can't, can you?" 

Rose couldn't, but she could hear the warning voices in her ears, with Majida's the loudest. "Mire-men!" she was calling. "Mire-men are coming." 

"This way." Sidriss caught Rose's arm once more. "We need to get away from those creatures." Rose felt the familiar sensation as they passed through a portal into a dimly-lit, cramped-sounding tunnel. "We'll have to take the long way round." 

"What long way?" Rose asked. 

"There's a causeway a bit further along the sewer. We can get you across there." 

Rose tripped over what, when she looked down, turned out to be the remains of a battleaxe, corroded into uselessness. There were scattered bones here, too. 

"Where is this?" she said. 

"These are old dwarf tunnels." Sidriss broke off as the harsh note of a horn echoed through the workings. "They're following us. We'll be all right as long as we keep moving." 

More bones clattered around Rose's feet as she stumbled forward. "Do I want to know what happened to the dwarves?" she asked. 

"Best not to think about it." 

"OK." Rose cast about for another subject. "You said your dad was Hordriss?" 

"The Confuser. Yes. He's a very powerful mage. He's teaching me his magic, only... well... I'm not very good at it. It's all so _complicated._ " 

"Thing is," Rose said, "I was using one of those magnifying glass things." 

"A spyglass, yes." 

"And Lord Fear was saying he wanted to keep your dad out the way." 

"You mean he might try and take him prisoner?" Sidriss came to a stop, the effort of walking and thinking at the same time being apparently too much for her. "He's captured my father once or twice before, you know. Of course he couldn't hold him." 

"Which was nothing to do with anything Hordriss did," Majida tartly added in Rose's ear. "It was dungeoneers who risked their lives to rescue him again and again." 

"It sounds like he might, doesn't it?" Rose said. "Maybe you could warn him or something." 

"If I see him, I will. But I don't know when that will be." 

"Why not?" 

"He's gone off looking for a wyvern. You need wyvern blood to make a Wand of Fire, you see." 

In the depths of the passageway behind them, the horn sounded once more. Sidriss jumped, and hurried onward, dragging Rose with her. 

"What's a wyvern?" Rose asked. They seemed to have reached the end of the tunnel; with the familiar rush of a portal, they passed into what sounded like a larger space. 

"It's like a dragon, but it doesn't have as many legs. I wouldn't go near one. Ugh!" The pink dress shook, as Sidriss made an exaggerated shudder. 

Rose looked down at the grey stone of the floor. "Where are we, anyway?" 

"You're in a room with an arched roof," Nancy said. "Looks like it might have been a water tank or something. And there's a big arched doorway on the opposite wall." 

"Rose," Adam added. "I think you should ask Sidriss about the TWIN spell. If she's learning magic she might know it." 

"'Scuse me asking," Rose said. "But I'm looking for a spell. It's called TWIN." 

"Oh. Yes, I know the one you mean. But I haven't learned it. Father said he wouldn't teach it to me until I'd proved I could handle the magic he's given me already." 

"No problem." Rose had another thought; she dug in her knapsack and pulled out the bottle of potion. "I got this from the apothecary, but he couldn't remember what it was. Do you know—" 

She broke off. She'd heard, or felt, a distant, ominous vibration. 

"Can you hear that?" she asked. "Or feel it?" 

"Feel what?" 

Rose shoved the potion back into her knapsack. "Like the floor's shaking?" 

"You're right!" Sidriss took a step forward, then a step back. "It's ahead of us!" 

The sound was approaching all the time: a slow, steady plodding, like the step of a policeman on his beat, giving an impression of unstoppable patience. 

"It's a Dreadnought!" Sidriss proclaimed, as the plodding sound came inexorably closer. She clutched at Rose's arm. "We need to give it a password. Do you know it?" 

"No! Don't you?" 

The plodding stopped, a few feet from Rose. With her vision restricted by the helmet, she could see only a pair of legs, armoured and colossal. If the rest of the creature was built to that scale, then the Dreadnought must be truly gigantic. 

"I seek a word." The giant's voice boomed from somewhere above Rose, and echoed around the room, hollow and metallic. "Give me the word, or I take a limb. Perhaps an arm. Perhaps a leg. Maybe a head." 

"That's not a limb," Adam muttered. 

"Give me the word!" the Dreadnought repeated. 

"Maybe you should drink that potion?" Nancy suggested. "I don't know what else we can do." 

"Or throw it?" Lynda added. 

With Sidriss still clutching at her arm, Rose could only use one hand to fumble with the satchel. Her palms felt damp; as she tried to catch hold of the phial, it slipped out of her grasp and into a far corner of the bag. With an inarticulate noise of frustration, she made another grab for it. 

"There's nothing for it," Sidriss was saying beside her. "I'll have to use magic." 

"Just when I thought things could not get any worse," Majida said. 

Rose made another grab at the phial, and managed to catch hold of it. Now, if she could just get the stopper out... 

"With no word—" the Dreadnought began. 

The phial slipped again in Rose's clammy hands, and nearly escaped altogether. 

Sidriss cleared her throat. " _Akram... Detonatio!_ " 

The chamber shook with the sound of a thunderous explosion somewhere overhead. 

"I missed!" Sidriss wailed. 

"—your journey is at an end." Rose couldn't see the Dreadnought, but she could picture it raising a mailed fist the size of her head. "Die in fear." 

Abandoning her attempt to open the phial, Rose waited for the blow to fall. Instead, there was a hollow, ringing, metallic crash, as if something had struck the Dreadnought over the head with an exceedingly large hammer. Dust, mortar, and rubble were raining down, bouncing off Rose's helmet. 

"Rose, get back!" Nancy shouted. "The ceiling's coming down!" 

Rose lost no time in jumping back, dragging Sidriss with her. Ahead, she could hear the continuing rumble of falling masonry, and the metallic noises as it plummeted onto the Dreadnought. 

"It... it worked!" Sidriss sounded as if she couldn't believe what had happened. "I did it! I actually did a spell and it worked!" 

"Was that what you were trying to do?" Rose asked, once more stowing the phial in her knapsack. 

"Well, no. But it did the trick, didn't it?" 

Another explosion shook the room, followed by a number of dings and clangs as pieces of the Dreadnought hit the floor, walls and ceiling of the chamber. Black smoke rolled across the room, and there was a brief rain of something damp and greasy. 

Rose nodded. "Yeah. I reckon it just about did. Shouldn't we get out of here before the rest of the ceiling comes down?" 

"Of course!" Sidriss more or less dragged Rose to the exit door of the chamber, seemingly oblivious to her struggles for balance on the debris-scattered floor. The familiar sound of the portal merged with the roar of the chamber finally collapsing. 

"You're in a room with two doors at the far end," Nancy's voice said, as Rose tried to recover her composure. "It's got a tall wooden roof and stone walls. And there's a table here with some stuff on: I think you should take a look at it." 

"Hang on a bit." Rose turned to face her travelling companion. "You all right, Sidriss?" 

She couldn't see Sidriss's face, but the trainee sorceress was wringing her hands with an intensity that would have done Lady Macbeth proud. "What's this horrible stuff on my hands?" she moaned. 

Rose rubbed her own fingers together. "I think it's engine oil or something," she said, with the stoicism of one who'd been in this situation several times before. Blowing monsters up was unquestionably spectacular, but the aftermath was never pleasant. 

"Yuck, it's on my dress! And in my _hair!_ Ewwwww! Sorry, Rose, I've got to go. My bath needs me." 

With a rustle of skirts, she hurried away. 

"Wait a moment!" Rose called after her. 

"What?" Sidriss asked, already some distance away from her. 

"How am I supposed to get across the causeway without you?" 

"Oh, I don't know. I can't _think_ like this. It was something to do with my necklace... yes, that was it. Father gave me the necklace so I wouldn't forget. Emerald and jet and sapphire and diamond." She hurried a few paces away, then stopped again. "And if you find the wyvern that Father's looking for, call _Malefact_ three times and he'll be there." Again, the sound of hurrying feet. "Good luck, Rose." 

"She's really gone this time," Lynda said. "She took the left door, so I suppose you want the other one." 

"Sounds sensible. But get me to the table first." 

"Turn slightly right. Walk forward." 

Standing at the table, Rose inventoried its contents. There was a pork pie, which she slipped into her knapsack. She briefly wondered if the knapsack ever suffered from indigestion, and if it did, whether she would feel the effects. 

"What else is there?" Nancy asked. 

"Not a lot." Rose cautiously touched a charred fragment of paper. "Looks like there was a scroll here, but someone's burned it. There's nothing left I can read." 

"More foul play by the Opposition, I suspect," Treguard said. "Well, team, it seems there is nothing else that can be done here. You must go on as best you may." 

"Step around the table," Nancy said. "Now sidestep right. Again. Walk forward." 

The darkness of a portal briefly closed around Rose, then withdrew. 

"Where am I?" she asked. From the sounds of lapping water and the stench, she must be very close to the Great Sewer. 

"You're on... well, it looks like some sort of bridge across the sewer," Lynda said. "It's made of tiles, all different colours. And..." Her voice filled with alarm. "Rose, there's one of those knight things on the other side!" 

"It's not moving," Adam added. "Maybe stepping on the wrong tile triggers it." 

"You'd better find the right tile, then." 

"It's got to be the jewels, hasn't it?" Nancy said. "Emerald, Jet, Sapphire, Diamond. Look for a green tile." 

To the sound of the water was added a low, menacing hum, sounding as if it was made by some well-engineered machine of death. The source of the sound was dead ahead. 

"Make haste!" Majida urged them. "When the Frightknight's sword touches the causeway, one row of tiles will fall. Maybe the tile you stand on, if you do not hurry." 

"I'll do this," Adam said firmly. "Rose, turn to two o'clock. Two paces forward. Shuffle half a step left." 

The hum was briefly interrupted by a resonant, thrumming note. Rose heard the clatter and splash of falling tiles behind her. 

"Now turn to ten o'clock. Take a half-pace forward. Shuffle right." 

"How many times have we got to do this?" Rose asked. 

"Six? Seven, maybe. Can you shuffle right again?" 

"OK." Rose looked down at the black tile she stood on, and tried not to think about what was waiting on the far side of the causeway. She had to keep moving forward, or she'd plunge to a repulsive death in the sewer; but every step she took was bringing her closer to the causeway's implacable guardian.


	7. Riddles and Fewmets

> Rose travels still in Level Two,  
>  And ancient tunnels ventured through.  
>  With Sidriss she adventure sought  
>  And set a Dreadnought's dread at naught.  
>  Upon the causeway now she stands,  
>  Her guidance left in Adam's hands.  
> 

"You're almost there now," Adam said. "One more tile." 

"But then she'll end up right beside the knight!" Nancy protested. "It'll cut her in half!" 

"Can it?" Majida asked. 

"The rules forbid it," Treguard said. His tone was not such as to inspire confidence in Lord Fear's respect for the rules. 

"OK, Rose," Adam said. "Turn to one o'clock." 

"Hurry!" Majida urged him. 

"Now jump forward. Far as you can." 

Rose put all her energy into the jump. She felt the wind as the knight's sword swept down within inches of her, the stone pillar of a doorway slamming into her shoulder, and then the familiar whoosh of a portal. Only dimly was she aware of the gasps of her advisors. 

"You so nearly went over the edge there," Lynda said. 

"Well, she didn't," Nancy said. "Rose, you're in a courtyard. Looks like it's made of ironstone. There's another of those trapdoors — I suppose it's nailed up. And there's something on the ground." 

Rose stepped forward. "Yeah, it's a spyglass." 

She picked it up and held it to the eyeshield. 

  


The view that appeared before the watchers in the Great Hall was not the familiar one of Marblehead Tower. Instead, a lesser chamber appeared, built out of slate-grey brick. In both the left and right walls was a large, circular opening. Standing in the middle of the room was a tall man of burly appearance, wearing a red bandana around his shaven head. On either side of him was a mire-man, standing at attention — or, at least, the closest approximation that their bodies would allow. 

"That is Raptor," Treguard said. "The captain of Lord Fear's guards." 

"What's he doing?" Rose asked. 

"Just standing there," Nancy said. "Looks like he's waiting for something." 

It seemed that Nancy's hypothesis was correct; a few moments later, the squeal of wood on wood announced the arrival of a handcart, being pushed by a man dressed in coarse homespun. On his head he wore a hat that had no doubt originally been brightly-coloured, but was now somewhat worn and faded. The cart bore several barrels, of distinctly unappealing appearance. 

"And that is the so-called Honesty Bartram," Majida said. "Whatever is he trying to sell now?" 

"Something dubious, I don't doubt," Treguard said. 

"Raptor!" Bartram called. "Greetings, me old mate!" 

"Well met, Bartram," Raptor replied. 

"And how are things in Lord Fear's guard these days?" 

"Oh, Lordship keeps us busy. And he don't like it when his servants is wasting time, as you knows well enough." 

"Ah. Straight down to business. Of course." He leaned forward confidentially. "But of course I'm not actually one of his servants. I just do a bit of contracting for him, now and again." 

"That ain't how his Lordship sees it." 

"Well, no, he's got a point of view, I suppose." Bartram gestured to the cart. "I got the goods here. You got the gold?" 

"'Course I got the gold. Let's take a look at the merchandise." Raptor crossed to the cart and made to lift the lid of a barrel. 

"Here, you want to be careful with that stuff," Bartram protested. 

"Orders is orders." Raptor managed to get the lid off, and recoiled. Bartram covered his face with his sleeve, coughing furiously, and even the mire-men seemed discomfited. Hastily, Raptor slammed the lid down. 

"That's the stuff all right," he said, wiping his eyes. 

"'Course it's the stuff. What do you take me for?" 

"The sort of landlubber who'd sell water as rum if he thought he could get away with it, that's what." 

"Now, now, there's no call for that sort of... Anyway, you've checked the merchandise, so let's see the colour of your gold." 

Raptor took a small leather bag which hung at his belt, and handed it over. Bartram weighed it in his hand, took out a coin, and bit it. 

"That'll do nicely, sir," he said. "The goods are all yours. I'll come back later to pick up the cart." 

"You'll not get through the sewers if you do," Raptor warned him. "Lordship's barred all the bridges. Seems there's one of they pesky dungeoneers around. And don't you go trying to sell them nothing, neither." 

"Me? I wouldn't dream of it. But thanks for the warning. Means I'll have to go through the firebomb room instead." 

"There's a blocker on guard. You'll need the word." 

"Is that the same as the one for the Dreadnought? I met him on the way in. Wondered if he'd like to buy anything, but, well, he didn't seem keen." 

Raptor shook his head. "Nah. The blocker's got its own word. It's 'Wildfire'. Got that?" 

"I got it." 

"Right." Raptor gestured to his miremen. "You lot, bring the cart and come along with me." 

One mire-man waddled to the cart and began to push it, the other guided it at the front, and under Raptor's careful supervision, the pair left the chamber. 

"Always a pleasure to do business with you," Bartram called after them. He lowered his voice. "Dunno what he wants with half a hundredweight of wyvern fewmets, though. Come to think of it, what would _anyone_ want with half a hundredweight..." 

The waters rippled, and the vision was gone. Once more, the watchers saw Rose standing in the ironstone courtyard. The spyglass lay at her feet, its lens shattered and its handle covered with frost. 

"Sorry about that," she said. "It was getting cold. I mean, really cold." She rubbed her hand. "Freeze-your-fingers-off cold." 

"Can't be helped," Nancy said. "I think we got everything important, anyway. That Bartram's a spiv and a half, isn't he?" 

"Yeah. Anyone know what wyvern fewmets are?" 

"Wyvern sh—" Lynda paused, overtaken by a coughing fit. "I mean, wyvern poo. If you're a hunter looking for an animal, that's how you know you're on its trail." 

"But half a hundredweight?" Nancy asked. "Does it make good fertiliser?" 

"Possibly," Treguard said. "Though there is a risk that your herbs would grow to twelve feet high and burst into flames. And I find it difficult to believe that Raptor, or Lord Fear himself, have taken up gardening as a hobby." 

"Maybe it's used in a spell?" Adam suggested. "Or maybe Lord Fear wants to put it all in a pit and use it as a trap." 

"That does not make sense," Majida said. "He could just put spikes at the—" 

"Snip-a-snap!" a high, cracked, nasal voice called — someone in the courtyard with Rose. "Here comes Jack!" 

"Rose, look out," Nancy said. "There's a man coming your way. He's wearing black and he's got a big butterfly net." 

"And a terrible glove puppet of a dragon," Adam added. 

"You are wrong," Majida said. "That is no puppet. It is a real dragon." 

Adam was clearly unconvinced. "If you say so." 

"I do say so, Mister Adam!" Though Rose couldn't see the Great Hall, the sound of a fingersnap followed by the whirr of Adam's access port told her exactly what Majida had just done. 

"Ah," the man in black said, drawing out the word. "We've looked around, and what have we found? A pretty young dungeoneer!" 

"This tiresome fellow is known as Snapper-Jack," Treguard said. "Lord Fear allows him to roam the dungeons, kidnapping those who cannot answer his questions. It would be unwise to fall into his net." 

"D'you know the rules of hunting fools?" Jack asked, circling Rose at such a distance that she could only see his long, pointed shoes. "Three questions I give. And two good answers you give, or it's no bet, you're in our net!" 

_Is this bloke for real?_ Rose wondered. But then, everything else the dungeon had thrown at her, however bizarre, had been. 

"Here's number one, just for fun: The greatest mountain in the world is Everest — you know it well. But what's the greatest mountain not in the world?" 

"Olympus Mons," Lynda said, without hesitation. "On Mars." 

"Olympus Mons," Rose repeated. 

"Smart, eh, smart? Well, it's a start." Jack was once more prowling around Rose. "Here's Number Two, just for you: Which is heavier, eh? A pound of feathers, or a pound of gold?" 

"They're both the same," Adam said. 

"No," Lynda said. "I'm sure they're different." 

"What do you mean? They both weigh a pound." 

Lynda stood her ground. "I think it's the feathers." 

_Come on,_ Rose thought. _I need an answer here._ Jack was closing in on her, making unnerving keening noises in the back of his throat. 

"Nancy?" Adam asked. "We need a casting vote." 

"I think... they've got to be the same," Nancy said. 

Rose cleared her throat. "They're the same." 

"Oh, not so bright, what a delight! In any weather, it's the feathers. Now we'll see.. here's Number Three. What can you put in a barrel, that will make it lighter?" 

"A hole," Lynda said. 

This time, there was no argument from Adam or Nancy, and Rose repeated the words confidently. 

"Ah, two gets you through — that'll do!" Jack drew off a little. "Snip-a-snap, snip-a-snap. Fool around, and we'll be back!" 

"Has he gone?" Rose asked, after a short pause. 

"Yes, he's gone," Nancy said. "Turn around to the right. Now walk forward." 

"Lynda," Adam said, sounding annoyed at being outsmarted. "How come the feathers are heavier? Is it because you're including the weight of the air trapped in the feathers?" 

"No," Lynda said. "I think it's because you use different ounces when measuring gold. But I'm not really sure." 

" _I_ don't use different ounces," Adam grumbled. "I still think 'the same' is a completely valid answer." 

"Then go and argue it out with that Snapper-Jack," Lynda retorted. "He said my answer was right." 

Neither Treguard nor Majida intervened in the ensuing debate. By the time the two parties had agreed to differ — or perhaps Lynda was simply too hoarse to make herself heard — Nancy had single-handedly guided Rose through a series of blocks that slid from side to side, while fireballs whizzed past at waist height. 

"Have you two finished?" she asked, as Rose stepped off the final block onto solid ground. 

"I don't know what you mean," Adam said sulkily. 

"Stop playing the fool, Adam. If Snapper-Jack was here now I'd hand you over to him like a shot. Rose needs our help, not stupid bickering. Rose, duck!" 

Rose ducked. A fireball whistled over her head. 

"Stand up again. Sidestep left. Again. Once more. Walk forward." 

"Where am I now?" Rose asked. 

"You're on a ledge beside the sewer," Nancy said. "And there are three people coming... Rose, it's Raptor!" 

"Hold!" Raptor's voice shouted. "Stand where you are!" 

"He's got two mire-men with him," Nancy said. "One of them's carrying a sack." 

"Yeah," Rose said. A pungent, sulphurous smell was beginning to make its presence felt, even over the stench of the sewer. "I think it's some of those dragon droppings." 

"You there, hold her," Raptor ordered, as he came up to her. Rose heard the flopping of webbed feet, and damp hands grasped her arms. "I reckon this is just what his lordship's looking for. A dungeoneer, no less! Now, you'll just come quietly with me and don't make any trouble. If you knows what's good for you," he added menacingly.


	8. In Enemy Hands

> In Level Two Rose makes her quest,  
> And thus far has survived the test.  
> No fire or pit could turn her back;  
> Nor could the keening Snapper-Jack.  
> But now by Raptor she is taken.  
> Has fickle fortune Rose forsaken?

"Treguard!" Majida wailed. "Rose is captured! It is the end!" 

"I agree the situation isn't good," Treguard said. "But at least he wants to imprison her rather than kill her here and now." 

"Do you think she could talk her way out?" Nancy asked. "This Raptor's a big fellow, but he doesn't look too bright." 

"Got to be worth a go," Lynda said. 

Rose nodded. "OK," she said out loud. "You got me. Completely outthought me. Clever bloke like you, I never stood a chance, did I? But there's one thing I still don't get." 

"What be that, then?" Raptor asked. 

"Why are you going round with that sack? 'Cos it doesn't half reek." 

"Ah, that's my little secret. You can work it out for yourself while we're on our way down to see his Lordship. Walk!" 

"OK," Rose said, as the mire-men holding her lurched forward. "I will. I think you're laying a trail so Hordriss thinks there's a wyvern in the dungeon and he'll follow it and—" 

"Here!" The triumph in Raptor's voice was turning to alarm. "You button it, now!" 

"Rose, he's taking off his headscarf," Nancy said. 

_Maybe he's going to gag me,_ Rose thought. _Or just strangle me. Let's hope that guess about Hordriss is right, because I don't have any other options._

"Malefact!" she shouted. "Malefact! _Malefact!_ " 

Bright light flickered across the stones, and a clap of thunder echoed through the sewer. The mire-men came to a halt, hissing. 

"And what manner of roguery is taking place here?" a deep, authoritative voice demanded. "One is not accustomed to seeing such disgraceful scenes, even in this level of the dungeon." 

"You keep back!" Raptor blustered. There was the scrape of metal as he drew some kind of weapon. "Or I'll—" 

" _Akram,_ " the voice said, its tone reminding Rose of her headmaster punishing an errant pupil. " _Ligati._ " 

There was a crackle in the air, and a yelp from Raptor. 

"He's trapped them in a force field or something," Lynda said. "They're sort of floating in the air." 

"One asks again," the voice said. "What is the meaning of this?" 

"I found these blokes spreading... fewmets?" Rose said. 

"Yeah, fewmets." Lynda said. 

"So you'd follow a false trail looking for a wyvern that isn't there." 

"Don't you listen to her!" Raptor shouted. "She be lying! Trying to save her miserable skin!" 

"Silence, ruffian. _Dimitto_." Another crackle of magic, and a fast-receding cry from Raptor. 

"He made them disappear," Nancy said, sounding awestruck. "They just sank through the floor." 

"Sent home to Level Three with their tails between their legs, no doubt," Treguard said. "But all being well, Rose will soon be on that level too. She may yet meet them again, and they will not remember her fondly." 

"One is duly grateful for your endeavours," the new arrival went on. "Had your valuable information not reached one, one might have spent the entire day chasing a will-o-the-wisp. Allow one to introduce oneself." He approached Rose; she could make out scarlet robes. "Hordriss, the Confuser." 

"And I'm Dame Rose Tyler of the Powell Estates." Rose essayed a bow. 

"Indeed. One is gratified to meet such a noble traveller in this wretched neighbourhood. Is there, perhaps, any way in which one may reward you?" 

Once more, Rose produced the potion. "I got this from the apothecary," she said. "But he didn't know what it was. Do you?" 

"Hmmm." Hordriss took the phial, and muttered briefly in a foreign language. "It would appear to have some magical quality, but one cannot determine its precise nature. It would be unwise to drink it, save in a situation of dire peril." 

"That's what everyone says," Nancy remarked, _sotto voce_. 

Hordriss handed the phial back to Rose. "Is there any other recompense one can offer for your assistance?" 

"TWIN!" Adam almost shouted in her ear. "We need the TWIN spell!" 

"I'm looking for a TWIN spell," Rose said. 

"There, one can certainly help you." A hand was laid on Rose's shoulder; she felt a brief ripple of power. "It is bestowed on you. And now, one has no wish to remain in such insalubrious surroundings for longer than is necessary. Farewell, Dame Rose." 

"Um... farewell." 

There was another brief flash of light. 

"He's gone," Lynda said. "One minute he was there, then he vanished." 

"Keep going forward," Nancy said. "A bit to your left or you'll fall in. Up three steps and turn left. Now you're in an empty room. There's an arched ceiling and a door on the left wall, but nothing else. Turn a bit to your left, and— hang on!" 

"What's happening?" Rose asked. 

"A wall just appeared," Lynda said. "All the stones just sort of came together, like it was building itself. They're still moving a bit... it looks like a face. A scary one." 

A low voice came from close by Rose, sounding as if it was made by bricks grinding over each other. "Password!" 

"Hang on, hang on..." Adam muttered. "I'm sure I wrote it somewhere..." 

"Password!" the voice insisted. 

"Got it! It's 'Wildfire.'" 

"'Wildfire,'" Rose repeated. 

Another grinding of bricks, and then silence. 

"It's gone," Nancy said. "Same way it came. What would have happened if we hadn't known the password?" 

"It would have eaten her," Majida said. 

"Then you'd better get me out of here before it comes back!" Rose said, trying not to imagine herself being crushed between two jagged rows of bricks. 

"Walk forward, then." 

Rose walked. Once more, her ears rang with the sound of a portal. 

By the sound of things, she was now in a large open space. A cold wind was howling in the distance; icy gusts whipped at her hair and clothes. The ground under her feet was broken, uneven black rock. 

"Where is she, Treguard?" Majida asked. "I have not seen this place before." 

"You have, Majida, though I grant you it looked very different. These are the ruins of the Black Tower of Goth." 

"This is where the starstone was, isn't it?" Adam asked. 

"Indeed. But it appears that somebody may have got there before you." 

"Rose, there's a tramp or something just ahead. He's seen you... he's coming over." 

Rose saw the man's grubby coat and worn boots as he came in view, and tried to remind herself that just because a man was living rough, that didn't necessarily make him dangerous or violent. Then again, he was living in the dungeon, and nearly everyone she'd met since entering it had been one or the other. 

"Hello," she said, attempting to sound friendly. "I'm Rose." 

"Nice to meet you, Rosie — you don't mind if I call you Rosie, do you?" His arm was round Rose's shoulders; she made a mental note to burn her jacket at the first opportunity. "My name's Sylvester Hands. Hands, like feet, only at the other end of yer body. Here! You ain't one of them dungeoneer people, are you?" 

"Um. No." Rose thought of the other people she'd seen in the dungeon. She couldn't pretend to be a thief or a wizard or a monk, but perhaps... "I'm a... trader." 

"Oh, a trader, is you? What sorts of things does you trade in?" 

"All sorts of stuff, really." Irrelevantly, Rose was once again reminded of her days at Henrik's. "Clothes, a lot of the time." 

"Really?" He plucked at her sleeve. "Don't think there's many round here who'd want stuff like that. Not worth my while." 

"What, to buy it?" 

"Nah, to steal it, o'course." Something sharp was pressed against Rose's back. "Don't worry, Rosie m'dear. You just stay still and let old Sylvester take any vallibles you got." 

"He's got a dagger," Nancy said. "Don't provoke him." 

"Wasn't gonna," Rose muttered, feeling cold sweat run down her face. After all the perils she'd braved to reach this point, it hardly seemed fair that this grubby little footpad was the one who had her most completely at his mercy. 

"That's right, Rosie. Now, what's you got in this bag here? A bottle? That's nice. Always got time for a bottle, Sly has." There was the pop of a cork, and the sound of sniffing. "Smells like good stuff. Don't know what vintage it is, do you, Rosie?" 

Rose shook her head. 

"Then you best leave it with me. I knows a fair bit about liquor." 

The dagger was withdrawn, and Rose sensed the man drawing off slightly. The sound of flowing liquid could be heard, interspersed with the smacking of lips and sighs of pleasure. 

"Rose, he's drinking it," Lynda said. 

"I guessed," Rose replied, quietly. 

"Ah." From the sound of things, Hands was wiping his mouth. "Not bad at all, that was. Rosie, my— Oooh. Oh dear. Do you know, I ain't feeling quite— Aaargh!" 

There was a rush of air, and a thump from overhead. In Rose's head, all three of her advisors seemed to be fighting laughter. 

"He just went straight up!" Lynda gasped. "And now he's caught on an arch or something!" 

"A flying buttress," Adam pedantically added. 

"Hey!" Hands' plaintive voice called from overhead. "Get me down! All this height isn't good for me! I gets vertigo!" 

"Hang on," Adam said sharply. "He just dropped something. Rose, turn right thirty degrees. Walk forward. Can you see it?" 

"Yeah." Rose scooped up the gem. It was the size of a tennis ball, and oddly heavy in her hands. Strange-hued fires burned in its depths. She hardly needed to hear Majida's voice in her head, confirming that this was, indeed, the starstone they were looking for. 

"Here! You can't have that!" Hands protested from above. "That's stealing!" 

Rose carefully stowed the jewel in her knapsack. "Nope. It's fair exchange. You took one of my things, I take one of yours." 

"But ain't you gonna get me down?" 

"Sorry, I can't." _And even if I could, I wouldn't,_ Rose privately added. "You'll just have to stay up there till someone turns up who can help. 'Bye." 

"Turn left a bit," Nancy said. "Now walk forward." 

Rose followed the indicated directions, clambering through shattered doorways and over the rubble of destroyed walls. Before Hands's cries had faded completely from her hearing, she found herself on the crumbling stone treads of a spiral staircase. 

"This leads to Level Three, huh?" Majida's voice asked. 

"It would seem likely," Treguard replied. "But it would be as well to proceed with caution, team. Not so long ago, this was part of Lord Fear's black tower. Who knows what dangers may lie in store?" 

"Got it," Rose said. Feeling her way along both walls, and testing every step before she put her weight on it, she made her way into the depths.


	9. Iron Maiden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This time I based the progress report on the standard form used in Knightmare Series 8. You'll have to imagine the bell tolling after each couplet, though.

> Dame Rose of London ventures in  
>  To dungeons deep and caverns grim.  
>  Nancy and Lynda, Adam too,  
>  Guide Rose her deadly journey through.  
>  On Level Three she seeks her beau.  
>  How will she fare? Read on to know.

"Where am I?" Rose asked, as the staircase came to an end. The ground below her feet was paved with what appeared to be bricks, laid edgewise. A flickering, yellowish light suggested that such illumination as there was came from burning torches. Somewhere close by, she could hear a regular whirring sound, as of a great machine in motion. 

"You're in a small room," Nancy said. "More of a passage really. There's only one doorway, and it's straight ahead." 

"There's a thing above the doorway," Lynda added. "Like a ninja throwing star. It's going round and round." 

"Warning, team," Treguard intoned. "Beyond that doorway lies the dread Corridor of Blades. Many have ventured into it; fewer have returned." 

"The others," Majida added helpfully, "got cut up into little pieces." 

"Nice." Rose squared her shoulders. "And it's the only way through, right?" 

"The only way is onward: there is no turning back," Treguard reminded her. 

"Here goes, then." Rose stepped forward, reminding herself that she was doing all this for the Doctor's sake. 

"Guide her well," Treguard added, as Rose heard her footsteps echoing in the archway. The ground under her feet was no longer brick, but cold steel, accelerating steadily forward, and the mechanical noises were coming from all sides. 

"You're on some sort of conveyor belt—" Lynda began. 

"Sidestep to your left!" Nancy shouted, urgently. "Again!" 

Rose lost no time in obeying. Something whirred past her on the right, at head height; she couldn't see it, but from the disturbance in the air and the noise, she had a sense that it was very large, very sharp, and spinning very fast. 

"Go right," Lynda shouted. "Right!" 

Rose threw herself to the right. This time, the blade passed her on the left, at knee height. 

"Left, left, left. Duck!" 

That deadly mechanical whirring again, to her right and over her head. 

"Treguard, this is not fair!" Majida protested. "There should not be two blades at once." 

"Stand up and move right," Nancy said. "That's— oh, lord..." 

"Lie down!" Adam called. "Quickly!" 

Rose threw herself to the ground. From the disturbance in the air above her, it felt as if two or more of the spinning blades were passing over her head. 

"Stay down," Adam continued. "Roll to your left." 

Rose rolled over, the straps of the knapsack tangling around her. Again, she felt something whizz past her. 

"That was a big one," Lynda said. She sounded almost as scared as Rose felt — but then, Rose supposed, Lynda could see what was happening. It was probably as well that Rose couldn't. 

"Stand up," Adam said. "Two sidesteps to your right. Now duck." 

More blades shooting past her, with a sound like a hornet's nest. 

"I think that's it... No, left!" Nancy shouted. 

"Left!" Adam and Lynda joined in. 

Rose hurled herself to the left. Something whipped past her, and there was a sudden feeling of weakness in her right leg. 

"The conveyor's slowing down," Adam said. "I think we made it." 

"Warning, team: Damage to life force," Treguard's voice cautioned. 

"You're telling me," Rose muttered. Even with the limited vision that the helmet gave her, it was clear that the blade had touched her; a neat slit had been cut in her jeans, and around it the fabric was stained with blood. Still, it couldn't be too bad. Her leg could still bear weight, and there wasn't any pain. As long as things didn't get any worse, she could go on. 

The exit from the Corridor of Blades led to a room, small by the sound of the echoes and 'grotty' by Adam's laconic description. There was a smell in the air of stale cooking, and the floor seemed to be some kind of gravel that crunched under Rose's feet. Stepping and sidestepping as she was directed, Rose came up alongside a table, which bore an apple, a spyglass, and the burnt, illegible remains of another scroll. 

She didn't need prompting to put the apple in her knapsack; her leg felt stronger, but still not right. Then she lifted the spyglass, and held it to the eyeshield. 

"So, she's through to Level Three," the familiar voice of Lord Fear said. "And no word yet from Hands. We might as well give up on Maldamé." 

"But if she passes through Linghorm and we don't stop her at the Great Mire, she'll be nearly at our gates, Lordness." 

"I don't care if she gets all the way to the Chamber Of Inquiry itself." Rose couldn't see Lord Fear, but she had no difficulty imagining the smug expression on his face. "Lissard, you know the rules. A dungeoneer can only carry two clue objects. Correct?" 

"Correctness, Lordness." 

"Then all we have to do is lock the prisoner's cage with an elemental lock. Four keys, Lissard. Whatever she does to get here, she'll have two of the keys at most." 

"But supposing somebody else brought the other keyses?" 

"Who? No-one else in the dungeon's fool enough to try and get into the Chamber. Not even Maldamé or that self-important buffoon Hordriss. Elegant, don't you think?" 

"A shining beacon of simpleness," Lissard agreed. 

"Put like that, yes, it was simple. Of course, it's not the only preparation I'm going to make. With any luck, we can stop her dead — and that's not a figure of speech — at the Golden Galleon..." 

"Spyglass down," Adam called. 

Rose dropped the spyglass, which was already hot to the touch. "Now what?" she said. 

There was no immediate answer; her advisors seemed to be locked in whispered discussion. 

"Hello?" she called. 

"Yeah, sorry about that." Lynda's voice was definitely getting more ragged. "We've been talking about what Lord Fear said. Treguard thinks you'll just have to go on and hope something turns up." 

"Like what?" 

"I dunno. Maybe find some unlocking spell you can use instead of the other keys?" 

"Makes sense." Rose squared her shoulders. "Right. Get me out of here." 

"Sidestep right a bit," Nancy said. "Keep going. Now forward." 

The gravel under Rose's feet changed to polished blue tiles. 

"Wow," Lynda said. 

"Wow what?" Rose asked. "Where am I now?" 

"You're in front of a castle," Nancy said. "A big one. There's an archway ahead and walls on both sides." 

"This is the palace of Linghorm," Majida said. "Maldamé took it from Lord Fear and made it her home, did she not?" 

"That's right," Treguard said. "And from the way Lord Fear was talking, it seems he hasn't managed to get her out of it again." 

"I think you'll have to—" Lynda began. 

She was cut off by a coughing fit that was volcanic in its intensity. Hearing the terrible sounds, Rose found herself imagining Lynda doubled over the Pool of Veracity, coughing up blood and mucus and internal organs. It seemed to take years before the noises stopped; after that, there was only a long, ominous silence from her advisors. 

"Hello?" she called. "Anyone there? What's happening?" 

"Lynda really isn't well." Adam sounded uncomfortable, but there was no hint in his voice of solicitude. "And Treguard's looking after her. So's Nancy. It's just the two of us now." 

"The _three_ of us," Majida pointed out. There was more than a suggestion of barely-concealed triumph in her voice. "So be sure to remain polite. I am not so forgiving as Treguard is." 

"OK." Adam cleared his throat. "Anyway, if this is where Maldamé hangs out, I think we should cast that TWIN spell." 

"Rose, hold the starstone in both hands." 

"Spellcasting: T-W-I-N." 

"It hasn't—" Rose began, then looked down at her hands. She'd felt nothing, but now each hand had a starstone in it. "OK. Yeah, it worked." 

"Then you'd better go forward." 

Rose did so, her footsteps echoing between the walls. Cool air blew towards her from the archway ahead. 

"Stop." 

Rose did so, and heard the clicking noise as something walked across the tiles, to and fro, as regularly as a clockwork machine. 

"What's that?" she asked. 

"A Skeletron!" Majida proclaimed. "The skeleton of a warrior, brought to life by Lord Fear's evil magic. But if you are careful, you will be safe. They have no eyes and no mind. If you keep away from it and do not let it touch you, it will not know you are there." 

"OK," Adam said. "Sidestep right two. Forward three. Wait." 

Rose waited, listening to the clacking footsteps, and wondering if Adam was deliberately guiding her onto the point of the creature's sword. But she didn't really have any choice, other than to trust him. 

"Now run forward. OK, you can stop." Adam sounded puzzled. "That wasn't anything like as difficult as the Frightknight. Why wasn't one of them on guard?" 

"Lord Fear is doing other things with his Frightknights, maybe," Majida said. "But if you wait around, perhaps one will come for you and then you can ask it." 

Rose took the hint, and continued to walk, her footsteps echoing from the walls on either side. 

"Halt!" a woman's voice called from ahead, hard and cold. From the sound of things, she was somewhere above Rose's height, on a balcony or rampart. "One more pace and I reduce you to dust!" 

Not waiting for instructions, Rose came to a halt. 

"So," the voice went on. "Another insignificant little dungeoneer dares to approach my palace. I had thought that they had learned the error of their ways. State your business, child, or cease to trouble Maldamé for ever!" 

"Tell her you seek passage to Marblehead," Adam suggested. 

Rose repeated the words, adding a judicious "My lady." 

"Marblehead? You are one of Fear's lackeys, then? And you dare to approach me, the true ruler of the—" 

"No!" Rose interrupted. "I mean, I'm sorry I didn't explain properly, my lady. I want to rescue my friend from Lord Fear's dungeons." 

"So, he is your enemy, as he is mine?" 

"Yes, my lady." 

"And no doubt in your weakness you have come to me to beg. You believe that I give my support with an open hand to any shambling halfwit who comes to my gates. You are wrong. I deal only with those who have the drive, the intelligence, the gumption to build some measure of power for themselves. An alliance with Maldamé must be earned." 

"I've got these." Rose held up the starstones. "Any good to you?" 

"Starstones!" The sorceress's voice was filled with enthusiastic avarice. "You have purchased your alliance with me, and more. Is there any other way I can assist you on your quest?" 

"Lord Fear said he was gonna lock the Doctor up with... what was it, Adam?" 

"An elemental lock," Adam said. 

"With an elemental lock. It needs four keys to open it." 

"And?" Maldamé asked. 

"Is there any way to get it open without the keys? A spell or something?" 

"An elemental lock? No, child. Only the correct keys will serve." Maldamé fell silent, and Rose briefly wondered if this was the end of the audience. "There is a spell that is in my power to grant. It is called CAGE. It amuses me to bestow it on you. Cast it only when you stand in the presence of Lord Fear himself. Do you understand?" 

"Yes, my lady." 

"Then place the starstones on the ground, and you may pass." 

Rose set the stones down, not without a last regretful look at their beauty. 

"There's a doorway ahead," Adam said. "The door's opening now. Walk forward." 

Rose walked as directed, passing through a portal. The change was immediate; rather than the cool, dry air of Linghorm, the atmosphere here was warm, muggy and smelt like the world's biggest compost heap. 

"Where am I?" she asked. 

"It looks like a harbour," Adam said. "And there's a ship tied up." 

"This they call the Great Mire," Majida said. "An underground sea, a thousand miles across. It is where the mire-men live. You cannot swim across it." 

"By the way," Rose said. "How's Lynda? I mean, is she any better, or..." 

"Do not concern yourself with her," Majida said. "You need to concentrate on you. If the mire-men stick their tridents in you that will be no help to her." 

"Oh. I hope she'll be all right." Rose shuffled her feet uneasily. She hadn't exchanged more than half a dozen words with Lynda, the one and only time they'd met, and the way she'd tried to flirt with the Doctor had set Rose's teeth on edge. But picturing her lying in some mediaeval infirmary, blood running from her mouth... her mind shied away at the thought. 

"If that ship's the only way across the mire you'd better get me on board," she said. 

"It's not that easy," Adam replied. "You know I was wondering where the Frightknights were?" 

Rose's heart sank. "Don't tell me. They're here." 

"That's right. Two of them, going up and down the gangplank. There's no way you'd get past." 

"And all we've got is that CAGE spell." 

"Which we're not supposed to use yet." There was frustration in Adam's voice. "We've got to get onto that ship. There's got to be an answer!" 

"Maybe there is," Majida said. "But you have to find it fast. Mire-men are coming!"


	10. That Sinking Feeling

> Through Level Three Dame Rose has strayed,  
> Passing the Corridor of Blades.  
> The path to Marblehead she sought,  
> And Maldamé's alliance bought.  
> Adam guides her through peril dire;  
> But will she founder in the mire?

"OK," Adam said. "Let's think about this." 

"Don't take long," Rose replied. She wasn't sure if she could really hear the approaching mire-men, or whether she was imagining their flapping footsteps. 

"We can't use the gangplank," Adam went on, seemingly unconcerned. "We can't stay here... Rose, there's something off to the right that looks like a beach. Maybe we can find a boat or something there." 

"Sounds good." 

"Turn right forty-five degrees. Walk forward. Keep going. You should be coming onto the beach about now?" 

Rose looked with distaste at the ground, which was no longer completely beneath her feet. "It's not a beach. When they called this place the Great Mire they weren't mucking about." 

"It's a marsh?" 

"Yeah. It stinks to heaven — and it's up to my ankles already. You'd better make sure I don't end up drowning in quicksand or something." 

"You wouldn't drown," Adam said, with the superior air of one not currently ankle-deep in decaying vegetable matter. "People float in quicksand." 

"Even people wearing a big heavy metal helmet?" Majida snapped. "You should take more care of your dungeoneer, Mister Adam. Even if she does not drown, she would be trapped. Her life force would not last long, or maybe the mire-men find her." 

There was bad grace in Adam's voice. "Point taken. I think if you turn a bit left and go forward there's a clump of reeds sticking up." 

"Got it." Rose clambered up onto the tussock. "Hang on. There's a paving stone or something here. Only it looks like a card." 

"What, a playing card?" 

"Yeah. It's the Eight of Clubs." 

"I see," Majida's voice said. "Look, each of these islands has a card on it. You must find the card that matches, and guide Rose to it." 

"Like the causeway, then," Adam said, sounding slightly puzzled. "Majida, no-one's come this way before, have they?" 

"No. They all used the gangplank." 

"So does that mean all these islands were always here even though no-one ever saw them? Or did they somehow..." 

The tussock Rose was standing on lurched, and began to sink. 

"Hurry up!" she called, as filthy water once more flooded her shoes. "I'm sinking!" 

"Turn to ten o'clock," Adam said hastily. "Jump forward." 

Rose jumped; her injured leg buckled under her, and she landed with a splash just short of the next tussock. Hastily, she clambered onto it, and once more discovered a slab bearing the mark of a playing card: this time, the Two of Clubs. Almost as soon as she'd arrived, the new tussock began to sink, this time sending up bubbles of foul-smelling marsh gas. 

"We'll have to speed this up," she called. 

"Onto it. Turn right a bit. Jump again." 

Rose turned and jumped, trying to ignore the renewed feeling of weakness in her leg. Despite her best efforts, the worry about how long she could keep this up wouldn't go away. 

⁂

Soaked with sweat, splattered with mud, and feeling her life force draining with every jump, Rose dragged her feet out of the marsh and onto yet another unstable clump of grass. She'd lost count of how many tussocks she'd traversed, somewhere around the time that the cards had gone beyond the mundane suits that she was familiar with; from the Six of Diamonds, she had jumped to the Six of Bells, and from then on her journey had taken her through cards marked with Coins, Acorns, Moons and Axes. Despite the increasing complexity of the suits, Adam had had no difficulty matching each card in the sequence. The enemies had been time, the sucking mud, and the ever-present danger of a misstep. 

"OK," Adam said. "You've come round to the other side of the ship now. And I can't see any more islands. Presumably you're supposed to climb on board from here." 

"Wait!" Majida said sharply. "What is that, over there?" 

"What's what?" Rose asked. 

"There's something over to your right," Adam said. "Turn right ninety degrees. Can you see it?" 

"Not a thing." 

"Step forward. Just one." 

Rose did so, and promptly sank almost to her knees. 

"This isn't gonna work," she said. "One more step and I could go under." 

"Can you see it now?" 

"No. What is it?" 

"Don't know. It just looks like something glittering in a pool." 

"Probably the last person who came this way." Rose looked down, feeling water creeping up her legs. "Look, I need to get back, I'm still sinking." 

"OK, one step back." 

Rose tried to step back, lost her balance, and sat down on the tussock with a bump. As she laboriously extricated her legs from the swamp one by one, it didn't improve her temper that Adam was laughing at her predicament. 

"This isn't funny!" she snapped. 

Adam managed to get his mocking laughter under control. "Of course, you'd never get anyone in trouble and then gloat at them, would you, Rose?" 

"I didn't get you into trouble!" Rose retorted. 

"Well, I didn't get you into this on purpose, did I?" 

"I don't know that. Maybe you're trying to kill me." 

"Don't be stupid! If I wanted to kill you, I'd have sent you up the gangplank and let the Frightknights cut you up. I'm not in this to lose." 

"That's all that matters to you, isn't it?" Rose remarked bitterly. "Proving you're clever enough to get me through the dungeon. You don't care about the Doctor at all." 

"Just because you're head over heels in love with your precious Doctor doesn't mean the rest of us have to crawl up his —" 

"Enough!" The exasperation was clear in Majida's voice. "I do not care that you are pouring your life force out like water. Nor that if you do not stop bickering like this your quest will end here and now. What is important to me is that I do not have to listen to any more of this _stupid_ nonsense." 

Scowling inside her helmet, Rose climbed slowly to her feet. She took a deep breath, and returned to the problem at hand. 

"Whatever that thing is, there's no way I can reach it," she said. 

"Reach," Adam repeated. "The wand. Maybe that'll work. Have you got it?" 

Rose delved in her knapsack. "Got it." 

"OK, point it ahead of you. Bring it down... a bit more... slightly left... now!" 

Something erupted from the swamp and flew towards her, hitting the end of the wand with a _clang._

"What is it?" Adam asked. 

"It's a key." 

"The key of Earth," Majida added. "That is one of the four keys you require." 

"One out of four's a start, I suppose." Rose detached the key from the wand, and placed both in her knapsack. "Did you say I had to get on the ship from here?" 

"That's right," Adam said. "Turn around. There's a rope hanging down." 

"I can't see it." 

"No, you're too far away. I think you'll have to jump for it. And grab the rope quickly, before you sink." 

"Hang on." Rose may not have been sinking, but her heart was. "You mean jump in the marsh? On purpose? I'll drown!" 

"This is the closest island to the ship. It's the only way. Just jump as far as you can." 

Rose took a deep breath, and leapt. She landed with a splash in bubbling ooze that could in no way support her weight, and once more felt herself sinking rapidly. She stretched her arms out, questing desperately for the rope, but her hands met only air. 

"Adam!" she shouted, her terrified voice ringing inside the helmet. Briefly, the notion flitted across her mind that he really was trying to drown her. "Where's that rope?" 

"More to your left." Adam sounded, if anything, irritated at her clumsiness; there was certainly no hint of concern for the peril she was in. 

Rose reached forward again; this time, her right hand closed around the promised rope. Taking hold of it in both hands, she tugged, and felt the mire, which had already reached her waist, recede by a few welcome inches. 

"Can you get up that?" Adam asked. 

"Don't see why not." Rose summoned up the last of her strength. "Did this sort of thing all the time in PE class." 

"But that..." 

"Look, you keep doing all the clever stuff. Climbing ropes? That's my department." 

Hand over hand, Rose dragged herself up the rope. The first few feet were the hardest; once her legs were free of the mire, she was able to brace them against the unseen side of the ship, and her task became simpler, though still nothing like easy. With aching hands, arms and shoulders, she clambered over a sturdy railing, and more or less collapsed onto the deck of the galleon. 

"Is there..." She took a deep breath. "Is there anyone around?" 

"Not yet," Majida said. "But there will soon. You must hide." 

"Where?" 

"There's a trapdoor or something just to your left," Adam said. "Can you get over there?" 

Rose got over there. "Looks like it goes down into the hold." 

"Better go down, then." 

Wearily, Rose staggered down the steps, emerging in a dimly-lit area in which the hot, fetid atmosphere of the Great Mire was modified — not for the better — by a pervasive aroma of decaying fish. 

"Is this the hold?" she asked. 

"Yes: there are barrels to your right. You could hide behind them. But sidestep left first. There's a fish on the floor." 

"Only one?" Rose asked, bending down to pick up the fish. It looked, to her way of thinking, hideous, with three clustered eyes and a mouth full of jagged fangs. It was still food, though, she reflected, as she put it in her knapsack. 

"That's better," she said. "Now, what about these barrels?" 

"Turn to four o'clock and go forward till you see them." 

As Rose reached the barrels, she heard hurrying footsteps overhead, and hastily threw herself down behind them, covering herself with a couple of empty sacks. Almost as soon as she had done so, the feet burst into the room. 

"It's Raptor." Caught up in the moment, Adam was whispering, even though he was in no danger of being overheard. "And two of the mire-men." 

"There, now," Raptor's voice said. "What did I say? Told you there was a stowaway on board this here ship." 

One of the mire-men made what Rose presumed was an answer, though to her it sounded like nothing more than a stream of gurgling noises. 

"How do I know? Why, 'cos of all they muddy footprints on the poop deck. 'Twasn't any of us left 'em. Someone got aboard, or my name ain't Raptor, The Scourge Of The Seas. And it's this way they came, for where else is there for a stowaway to go?" 

Again, the mire-man spoke. 

"You're going to search the cargo," Raptor replied. "That's what you're going to do. Every barrel, every crate. 'Cos I knows that somewhere in among it you'll find—" 

Somewhere, far, far overhead, was a dull boom, and the distant sound of running water. 

"Belay that order!" Raptor snapped. "If that wasn't thunder I've never been a sailor. All hands on deck, and if we spread every sail maybe we'll outrun this storm. Get along with you now!" 

More hurrying feet; then Adam cautiously said "They've gone." 

"What was all that?" Rose asked. "It didn't sound like a thunderstorm." 

"Search me." 

"Maybe it was Sidriss again. Hope she didn't bring the roof down this time." Rose shifted, trying to make herself comfortable. "Did you say this sea was a thousand miles across? I'll be here for weeks!" 

"Time in the dungeon is not the same as in your world," Majida said. "It will take as long as it takes. You must learn patience, Dame Rose." 

"Easy for you to say," Rose muttered.


	11. Marblehead

> Undaunted, Rose adventures still,  
> Defying those who wish her ill.  
> Playing her cards, through mire she sped,  
> And now is borne to Marblehead.  
> Her final trial is surely near:  
> The time has come to face Lord Fear.

When Rose looked back on her adventures in the dungeon, the voyage across the Great Mire was one of the most difficult parts to remember in any coherent fashion. There was no way she could have been lying in the same place, barely concealed under a couple of stinking sacks, for more than an hour or two at most; but surely the journey must have taken days, or weeks. And her thoughts during the voyage were no easier to pin down. Had she been lost all that time in a reverie, trying to imagine what the palaces and chambers she'd passed through truly looked like? Or attempting to remember her earlier adventures with the Doctor, trying to hold onto the notion that there was a truer reality outside the dungeon? She was never really sure. 

Whether she had been hiding there for minutes, hours, days, or weeks, she was brought back to full alertness when Majida said "The galleon has stopped moving. I think you have come to Marblehead." 

"Already?" Rose gratefully divested herself of the sacks and climbed to her feet, feeling cold, stiff, damp and hungry. "How do I get out of here?" 

"There's a portal in the wall," Adam said. "It wasn't there before. Walk round the barrels." 

"Just a mo," Rose said. "There's something in this barrel." 

"A spyglass?" 

Rose rummaged. "No, a scroll." She opened it. "It says 'BONES.' That's all." 

"Got to be a spell. I'll make a note of it." There was a brief pause. "You can put the scroll down now. Turn around. Forward a bit. Right ninety. Walk forward." 

Again, the change from the stifling atmosphere of the hold was abrupt. Suddenly the air around Rose was cold, a keen wind blowing from distant mountains. The flagstones she was standing on looked vaguely familiar. Was this where she and the Doctor had stepped out of the TARDIS? 

"Is this Marblehead?" she asked out loud. 

"It certainly is," Majida said. "Lord Fear's great fortress. The dungeoneers I have seen enter it, I could count on the fingers of two hands. Those who returned safely? I need only use the thumbs." 

"So what do we do? Walk up to the castle and knock on the door?" 

"Perhaps we should scout around first," Adam suggested. "Maybe ask a few questions." 

"Is there someone to ask? Apart from mire-men, I mean?" 

"There's an old woman with a barrow. At least, I think she's an old woman — she's all wrapped up in a cloak. It looks like she's selling snacks." 

"I could do with a snack. Pity I haven't got anything to pay for it with." Rose shrugged. "OK, get me over there." 

Guided by Adam, Rose approached the barrow. 

"Hello, there, dearie," the proprietress said. "Finest fish. Caught today— well, this week anyway. This month, I promise." 

With feelings of rising nausea, Rose looked at the contents of the barrow. While it seemed that a variety of water creatures lived in the Great Mire, she wasn't sure too many of them deserved the name of 'fish.' The creature that she'd picked up in the Golden Galleon had looked appetising by comparison with these. 

"I'm... not really hungry," she lied. 

"What, and you swaying about on your feet like a weeping willow? You look fit to drop, my dear. Have this one on me." 

Reluctantly, Rose held out her hand. A vaguely crab-like creature was pressed into it, along with something cold and metallic. 

"The Key of Water," the woman said. Her voice had changed; it was quiet, barely above a whisper, and Maldamé's chilly, arrogant tones were unmistakeable. "You have earned this by crossing the Great Mire. Even if you have brought half of it with you on your clothes." She raised her voice, and reverted to the shrill screech she'd used before. "There you are, dearie. Get that inside you." 

Rose slipped the fish and the key into her knapsack. "Um... thank you," she said. It was obvious that Maldamé wouldn't thank Rose for blowing her cover, so she added "Goodbye, old, er, fishwife," and turned hastily away. 

"Turn to two o'clock. Walk forward," Adam said. "That's two keys — we can't carry any more." 

"So what? We're going in?" 

"Have you got any better ideas?" 

Reluctantly, Rose shook her head. "No." 

"Right, then... no, I didn't mean turn right. Back to eleven o'clock and walk on a bit. You're coming to the gates now. They're closed." 

Rose recalled the threatening castle she'd briefly glimpsed on her arrival, however long ago that had been. "They would be. You think I can just walk in there?" 

"'One does not simply walk into Marblehead.' Sorry, couldn't resist." Adam's voice suddenly gained new urgency. "Hang on, the gates are opening. Sidestep left, quick!" 

"Why?" Rose asked, as she did so. 

"Skeletrons," Majida said simply. "They are marching out on patrol." 

"Move forward a bit," Adam suggested. "There's a cart or something. Then crouch down." 

Crouching behind the wagon, Rose listened to the regimented clicking of the skeletrons' feet. It seemed to her that one of them was a litle out of step with the rest; no, it was a different footstep, softer and less regular than the marching undead. 

An unseen hand gripped her wrist, and she narrowly avoided crying out in surprise. 

"Hello, Rose," Stiletta's voice said. "You look like you've been in the wars a bit." 

"Yeah, just a bit," Rose replied, keeping her voice low. "What about you?" 

"I've been in Marblehead, trying out that smashing bracelet of yours. The whole place is buzzing like a wasp's nest. You must really have got under Lord Fear's skin, Rose." 

"How did you get in?" 

"Slipped the bracelet on and tagged along after a Skeletron patrol. But I didn't stay long. Just enough to pick up a few trinkets." 

"Don't suppose you found any keys?" 

"Afraid not. Only an elf-horn and a couple of destructors. Handy things for getting into a locked treasure chest, if you use them properly." 

"Only Lord Fear's locked the Doctor up with an elemental lock, you see, and it needs four keys to open it. And two people. Don't suppose you..." 

"Sorry. I wouldn't go anywhere near the dungeons, even when I'm invisible. They say there are... things.. in Marblehead that can see through any disguise." Rose felt the hand on her wrist tremble slightly, as if Stiletta, hardened thief though she was, hadn't been able to resist a shudder. "Anyway, I'm going back to Level One now. See what sort of price I can get for the elf-horn." 

Her hand released its grip on Rose. 

"Is there a password or anything?" Rose asked. 

"The watchword for the lower ward is 'Banshee'. But I don't think it'll help, Rose. They've got more of those Frightknight things on guard. They're not going to let an obvious dungeoneer past, whatever words you give them." 

Her soft footsteps receded. 

"That's a lot of help," Rose said. "Just 'cos she can walk in with a load of skeletrons doesn't mean I can. Not when I can't turn invisible." 

"The other dungeoneers walked in," Majida said, thoughtfully. "But they had words that the guards believed, or magic that could open doors. And the palace was not in a state of defence to hold off a knight — or a dame. No. Nothing could pass the gates now without a challenge. Only one of Lord Fear's own creatures." 

"What've we got?" Adam sounded as if he was ticking off options on his fingers. "Keys, they're for when we find the Doctor. And two spells. CAGE doesn't apply here — what about the other one? BONES? Maybe it'll give you control over the skeletrons and they'll let you in." 

"I suppose it's all we've got. Go on, then." 

"Spellcasting: B-O-N-E-S." 

Rose shuddered, as a brief prickling sensation swept through her. She looked down at her feet, in time to see her mud-caked jeans and trainers fade away, leaving only dry bones. 

"What's happened?" she asked. 

"You look like one of the skeletrons now," Majida said. "All bones, and a sword in your hand." 

Rose touched one hand with the other. "I don't feel like one." 

"No. It is an illusion only of sight, I think." 

"Pity. Otherwise it'd beat dieting any day. Right. Marblehead, here we come." 

Adam, by now, had directing Rose down to a fine art; their entrance to the grim fortress was a masterpiece of precisely-timed shifts, sidesteps and dodges. Rose waited behind the wagon until a column of skeletron guards crossed the courtyard, then fell into line at the rear, trying to match what she could see of their strange, gliding motion. 

"The gate's opening," Adam told her. 

Rose didn't dare answer, or even nod her head, as she marched through the archway into a dark, uneven, rocky tunnel. The distant, ghostly sound of horns and the shouts of overseers echoed through the corridors, along with groaning sounds which might have been slaves, machinery, or the earth itself. 

"You're going through another portcullis," Adam said presently. "And... stop." 

Rose halted. 

"One step forward. It looks like they're queueing up. The skeletrons, I mean." 

"Up ahead!" Majida sounded urgent. "That is a frightknight. It is counting them, one by one." 

Rose took another step forward, as the queue moved on. 

"I suppose the spell won't fool it?" Adam asked, obviously expecting the answer 'no'. 

"I do not think so. It will know her for what she is and cut her in halves. You must do something, Mister Adam!" 

"OK. Rose, there's a hole in the wall on the left. A drain or something. Nod if you can see it." 

Rose bobbed her head. 

"Can you get down it?" 

Rose gave it a dubious look, and reluctantly nodded again. 

"OK. When you get alongside it, crawl in." 

Two further steps brought Rose alongside the drain. Ahead of her, the Frightknight was now so close that she could hear its constant hum — the same sound as the one that had guarded the causeway. She'd only have seconds before it came after her. 

With a deep breath, she dived into the drain, wondering if she'd imagined the sword sweeping down behind her feet. The culvert sloped downwards steeply, its stones slick with algae. In moments she was sliding forward, unable to stop or control herself. Protruding stones banged against her arms and legs. All she could do was hope that whatever was at the bottom of this culvert, she would have a soft landing. 

In the event, she didn't; the Helmet of Justice struck what she guessed was the grating at the far end of the drain, hard enough to make Rose's ears ring and her head spin. The impact, according to Adam, had dislodged the grating, and she was able to crawl forward into the room beyond it. Scarcely knowing what she was doing, she staggered to her feet. 

"I smell something fishy about this," Lord Fear's voice said, far too close to her. "And for once, I don't think Lissard's to blame." 

In Rose's ear, Adam was describing a chamber, so many metres long and wide, full of chains and braziers and torture equipment, but compared to the chilly presence beside her he seemed unimportant and infinitely distant. 

"Let me see," the voice continued. "Either a skeletron's suddenly developed enough brain power to act on its own initiative and a taste for diving down drains, or..." A hand closed on Rose's shoulder, as cold and as strong as iron in winter. "Ah. An amusing effort, but I'm very familiar with magical disguises. Dispel: S-E-N-O-B." 

A wave of acute discomfort passed through Rose and was gone. She didn't need to look at her feet to know she was no longer disguised. 

"Dame Rose, I presume," Lord Fear continued. "We meet at last." 

"Rose!" the Doctor shouted, not much further away. 

"Just think," Lord Fear went on. "If you'd been sensible and surrendered to me rather than fighting your way through all three levels, you'd be in exactly the same place that you are now. Except, of course, you'd be in much better health and considerably cleaner. This way, if you please." 

Rose found herself propelled in the indicated direction. 

"Oh, don't misunderstand me. I'm very pleased to see you, even if you do look like a mire-man's dream date and smell like Lissard's larder. Now, Doctor, you remember my earlier offer?" 

"I told you before," the Doctor replied. He was right in front of Rose now; she had to fight a sudden urge to lift the visor and see him face-to-face. "The answer is No." 

"That's a shame. Because I think, unless you start talking, I'm going to take this troublesome wench apart, limb by limb, in front of you. Or maybe I'll freeze her blood, slowly. Or feed her to the cockatrice ants..." 

"Don't tell him anything!" Rose shouted. "I don't matter!" _Someone help me_ , she pleaded silently. 

"It's got to be now for the spell," Adam's voice said, inaudible save to her. "There's nothing else left." 

"Do it," Rose said. 

"Do it? Really?" Lord Fear's grip tightened, sending freezing pain through her shoulder. "Let's see how long that bravado lasts..." 

"Spellcasting," Adam said. "C-A-G-E." 

Lord Fear's hand was suddenly gone from Rose's shoulder. There was a rush of air, and then a clatter of iron. 

"Oh, very amusing, I don't think." Lord Fear's voice was coming from a lot further away now, and had lost some of its air of triumph. "But don't think you've won just by trapping me in this thing. You won't get your friend out of his prison with only two keys, and you haven't got any spells left." 

Just as when Rose had been hiding in the galleon, the dungeon was shaken by a detonation. It felt a lot closer this time, as did the sound that followed of gushing water. 

"Your life force won't hold out much longer," Lord Fear continued, "so I'll just sit here and watch you die. Doctor, perhaps you'd like to take off your blindfold and watch?" 

Horns sounded wildly in the distance. Closer at hand, running footsteps could be made out. 

"Of course, if you'd rather live a useful life than die pointlessly, you could swear fealty to me," Lord Fear suggested. "You'd just have to give up one or two little things, like your free will— what in the name of Deimos? _Two_ of the pests?" 

All through his speech the hurrying footsteps had been coming closer, and now their source had entered the interrogation chamber. Rose couldn't see the newcomer, but the rasp of their laboured breathing sounded somehow familiar. 

"Rose," the new arrival said. "I came as quick as I could." 

The voice was Lynda's.


	12. Flight from Fear

> Dame Rose defeated Lord Fear's rage  
>  And trapped him in a magic cage.  
>  Through secret paths another came  
>  To join her: Lynda is her name.  
>  About them, there remains one doubt:  
>  Now they've got in, can they get out?

"Lynda?" Rose asked, in astonishment. 

"What, Lynda-with-a-Y?" the Doctor added. "From the Game Station? What are you doing here?" 

"Saving your life," Lynda said. "Nancy, I've got the keys. Where should I go?" 

Distantly, in the background, Rose could hear Nancy saying "Sidestep to your left. Again." 

"Rose, move a bit to your right," Adam's voice said in Rose's ear. "And hold up your keys." 

Rose shuffled to her right, until she could see what must be the edge of the pale, bony triangle containing the Doctor. Her hands shaking with excitement, she dug the keys out of her knapsack, and held them up. Something snatched them from her. There was a rumble, as of some huge and rusty machine turning, and a smell of ozone. The parts of the pale structure she could see evaporated, leaving a very familiar pair of Converse-clad feet. 

"Rose?" The Doctor took her gently by the hand. "Rose, it's really you. Wherever have you been?" 

"Where haven't I been?" Rose replied. 

"You shouldn't be here, Rose. I sent you away." 

"I couldn't leave you, could I?" 

Lord Fear's voice cut in on them. "Oh, how touching. But don't think you've won yet. You'll never leave Marblehead alive." 

"There's a door," Nancy's voice said. "Rose, you're sort of facing it. Can you turn a bit to your left and start walking? And the Doctor and Lynda need to follow you. Lynda, can you hold the Doctor's hand?" 

"This way," Rose said, heading in the indicated direction. 

"Isn't that the Doctor's sonic thing on that shelf?" Adam asked. 

"Looks that way," Nancy said. "Rose, sidestep left and reach up with your left hand. Can you feel it?" 

A moment later, the sonic was in Rose's hand. She passed it to the Doctor, then turned back towards where Nancy assured her the door was. 

"Thanks for all your hospitality," the Doctor called over his shoulder. "When I write my book of Dungeons I Have Known, you'll definitely get a favourable mention." 

"You'll regret this, all of you!" Lord Fear retorted. "Lissard! Get here this minute, you lackadaisical heap of—" 

Rose plunged through the portal; the shouting was abruptly cut off. They were now somewhere cold and dark, with water dripping from above. From the echoes, it seemed that this was a large space. 

"You're back in the mines," Nancy said. 

"This is the way I came in," Lynda explained. "Doctor, can I ask something? Are you really the same person as the Doctor I met? I mean, you know who I am, but you don't sound like him. Or look like him, when I saw you." 

"Lynda, I promise you I'm the same person," the Doctor said. "Remember when we were in the airlock together?" He was using, Rose noted to her annoyance, what she thought of as his 'trust me' tone of voice — a tone which made Rose want to follow him to the end of the Universe, and which she was accustomed to having all to herself. "I said 'Come with me'. You said 'I can't.'" He softened his voice a little; Rose squirmed inwardly. "And I said 'Lynda, you're sweet. From what I've seen of your world, do you think anyone votes for—'" 

"Warning, team!" Treguard's voice interrupted him. "Something is following you, and I very much doubt it is friendly." 

"Go forward," Nancy said. "Hurry!" 

Rose led the way, profoundly grateful for the interruption. Behind her, she could hear the Doctor's and Lynda's footsteps, and the heavy, thudding sound of something following them. It was hard to tell in the echoing cavern, but it was quite possibly more than one something. 

"No, stop!" Adam called. "It's coming from that way." 

The footsteps were coming from ahead and behind, multiplied by the echoing cave into an uncountable army. 

"They're Dreadnoughts," Adam said. "Two behind. One ahead. Try that password, quick." 

"Banshee!" Rose shouted. There was no response; the footsteps did not pause even for a second. 

"I don't think these metal warriors will be pacified by a password," Treguard said. "They have almost certainly been sent to capture or destroy you." 

"Can we blow them up?" Adam suggested. 

"You do not have Sidriss's magic." 

Adam groaned. "We're sunk." 

"Don't worry," Nancy said. "There's a spell Lynda found on the way in. Spellcasting: A-S-C-E-N-D." 

Some invisible force snatched Rose — and Lynda and the Doctor — and hurled them upward. Looking down, Rose could see nothing but tiny points of light, receding beneath her feet; she shuddered, and closed her eyes. Somewhere far below, the dungeon rang with a clash of metal as, she guessed, the three Dreadnoughts converged on where she'd been standing, and collided with each other. Then the rushing of air and the feeling of speed slackened, and their feet were once more on solid ground. Just as when Rose had first entered the dungeon, there was a smell of sulphur in the air. 

"Where are we?" Lynda asked. 

"You're back on the ledge," Nancy said. "The one with the fire coming up through cracks." 

"Got it. Which way do we go?" 

"You need to follow Rose. Rose, turn to your right, and walk forward. Stop when I tell you." 

Rose edged along the slender lip of rock, aware of occasional flares of light and heat. Now and again Nancy or Adam told her to stop, and she could see flames leap from fissures by her feet; then, as the flames subsided, she would be told to resume her course. On her left, the ground fell away into a pit, the bottom of which was lost to sight. Sounds of urgent horns echoed from it, and the beating of drums, and the tramp of marching feet. 

"Treguard," Majida asked. "What is that sound?" 

"The Opposition haven't given up yet," Treguard replied. "Lord Fear's army is in pursuit. I would urge haste, team. The Mire-men and Dreadnoughts may not be able to follow you in time, but he has other strings to his bow." 

Less than a minute later, as Rose successfully negotiated another jet of flame, she heard a high-pitched, wordless sound. Singing, perhaps, but if so, a song of pure malevolence. By the sound of it, it was rising out of the pit to her left. 

"A Pooka!" Majida exclaimed. "Treguard, they must hurry!" 

Rose needed no further encouragement, and covered the remainder of the ledge at something close to a run, dragging the Doctor and Lynda behind her. Even at that speed, they barely made it in time. Even as Adam said "You're going through an archway," she felt something touch her shoulder, with a numbing chill. An instant later, she heard Lynda gasp. Then, the three were through the archway, and the song of the Pooka had faded in something Rose could have sworn was evil chuckling. A moment later, it had been drowned out by the sound of a portal transition — not quite the same noise that previous portals had made, Rose thought. Softer, somehow. 

The smell of sulphur had faded. Here, the air was cold and dry. A breeze was blowing from somewhere, carrying the sound of distant voices. 

_"Rose, you left me..."_

_"Exterminate..."_

_"Why are you still alive? You don't deserve it..."_ Rose recognised the Welsh accent. That was Gwyneth's voice, Gwyneth who'd died a century before Rose was even born.

Beside Rose, Lynda's voice was a horrified whisper. "Crosbie?" 

_"Rose, can you hear me?"_

The Doctor's voice brought Rose back to herself with a bump. "Where are we?" he asked, sounding on edge and unnecessarily loud. 

"You're in a passageway," Adam said. "Two doors on each side, and they've got runes on them." 

"Extreme caution, team," Treguard's voice said. "This is the Great Corridor of the Catacombs, patrolled by the spirits of the dead. I suggest you leave, quickly." 

"Go forward," Adam said. 

"One of these days you'll have to tell me how you two know where you're going," the Doctor said, as they stumbled across the flagstones. His voice still sounded louder than it needed to be; Rose got the feeling he was talking to drown out the voices on the wind. How many people had he lost, over the centuries? And was he hearing them all now? 

"I'll explain later," she said out loud. 

"Take the door on your left," Nancy said. The muted sound of the portal transition filled their ears, and the whispers fell blessedly silent. "Now you're in a room. There's a table with some grapes on it. Walk forward." 

Rose and Lynda quickly divided the grapes between them. Rose wondered how the Doctor was managing, with no knapsack for food. He didn't seem to be showing any of the signs of weakness that she'd felt, when her life force got low. Perhaps it was something to do with him being a Time Lord; or perhaps his jailers had found some other way to sustain him. 

Before Rose could give that matter any more thought, the floor around her feet brightened, as if sunlight was shining into the room through some window she couldn't see. A grinding sound as of shifting rock filled the chamber. 

"Who dares disturb the sleep of Golgarach?" a voice boomed. 

"Don't worry," Lynda said. "It's just a wall monster. I met one on the way in — she was called Brangwen." She raised her cracking voice. "I am Lynda Moss of Tellus, and this is the Doctor and Rose. We challenge." 

"Your challenge is accepted. Three questions must you answer. One truth, and you may pass. More, and knowledge will be given you. If none, then I feed on you. Here is my first: In the legends of King Arthur, who was the last of all his knights?" 

"Bedivere," the Doctor said, before the echoes of Golgarach's voice had died away. "Nice bloke. Used to bite his nails." 

"Truth accepted. Here is my second: King Pellinore pursued a creature known as the Questing Beast. By what other name was it known?" 

"The Beast Glatisant," the Doctor replied, equally promptly. "Snake's head, leopard's body, deer's feet..." 

"Truth accepted!" 

"Get the feeling we're a bit surplus to requirements here?" Adam's voice asked in Rose's ear. 

"Here is my third and last." Golgarach paused, then launched into its final riddle. "What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?" 

"You're joking!" the Doctor exclaimed. If he and Rose had been able to make eye contact, they wouldn't have been able to keep their faces straight. From the noises in Rose's ear, it seemed that Adam had completely lost it. 

"What's so funny?" Nancy was asking. "Doesn't any of you know the answer?" 

"No idea," Rose said. "Don't you know?" 

"No. Why should I?" 

"Doctor?" 

"What?" The Doctor sounded as if he was still trying to choke back laughter. "African or European swallow?" 

"Answer!" Golgarach boomed. 

"Oh, come on," Lynda said. "I thought everyone knew it's eleven metres a second." 

"Truth accepted! Three is your score: you may learn more. The Serpent's Head is closed to you, but through the Lion Gate you may find freedom." 

Lynda cleared her throat. "We got all three right, so we command you." 

"What is your command?" 

The Doctor broke in. "If anyone comes this way after us, stop them." 

"I hear and obey. The walls await me..." 

Again, the grinding of rock, and the light faded. 

"Where's the way out?" Lynda asked. 

"Round the table," Adam said. "Turn a bit left. Keep going... OK. Now you're in a stone room with four doors, two near you and two further away. They've got symbols above them. A snake, a crown, a lion, and a halfmoon." 

"We want the lion, don't we?" Rose said. 

"Sidestep right twice," Nancy said. "That's it. Now go forward." 

"OK." Rose's heart jumped as the wordless, evil singing came distantly to her ear. "Is that another Pooka?" 

"Looks more like a floating skull to me," Adam said. "I thought that wall monster was supposed to stop them following you." 

"There is more than one path through the dungeon," Treguard said. "And there are creatures that even a being of Golgarach's power can only delay." 

"OK. We've got to keep going." The chill in Rose's shoulder seemed to be spreading, and her injured leg felt as if it was about to give way beneath her, but she closed the distance to the door at the fastest limp she could manage. This time she did not feel the spectre's touch, but the Doctor's gasp of pain went through her like a knife. 

Once more, the portal whispered around them. It was Lynda who asked "Where are we?" 

"You're under a big archway," Nancy said. "In front of you there's a courtyard with flagstones. There's another arch on the other side of the courtyard, and it's got a lion's head over it." 

"That's got to be the lion gate!" Adam sounded as if he was bouncing up and down with excitement. "Come on!" 

Rose took two paces forward, before four voices — Adam's, Nancy's, Majida's and even Treguard's — all shouted "Stop!" 

"Not so fast." It was Lord Fear's voice, and it was coming from directly ahead: he must have appeared between them and the way out. "So Treguard thought he could hide you from me in this crumbling catacomb, did he? He should have known better. All of you, surrender to me now. Or if you'd prefer to die horribly, that can be arranged."


	13. The Lion Gate

> Rose and the Doctor, Lynda too,  
> Have made their way through caverns new.  
> But one more hand they yet must play:  
> Lord Fear himself now bars the way.  
> Can they survive his lordship's hate  
> Or will they fall before the gate?

"Lord Fear!" It was Treguard's voice. "You know that this is a gross violation of rules." 

Lord Fear sounded unabashed. "Oh, I'm so sorry. Perhaps you'd like to take it to arbitration. After all, we all know how much you respect the rules, Mr Take-Two-Dungeoneers-Into-The-Shower." 

"Let them go," Majida said. It took a few seconds for Rose to realise: she'd heard her voice the normal way, not inside her head. Majida must be in the room with them. 

"Majida!" It sounded as though events in the dungeon had finally got the better of Treguard's equanimity. "Come back here at once! You cannot interfere!" 

"If nobody else is following rules, why should I? Skullface, you will let them go." 

"Oh, how touching," Lord Fear said. "But, do you know, I don't think I will." 

There was a flare of orange light, and a wave of heat rolled over Rose, then receded. 

"Rose, Lynda, Doctor, run forward!" Majida sounded as if she was struggling to lift a heavy weight. "Now!" 

The three hurried forward, in Rose's case stumbling badly. The heat around them grew, lessened, grew again. 

"You're nearly at the gateway!" Adam called. "Hurry!" 

"Foolish girl," Lord Fear said. "Do you really think you can beat me?" 

"No..." Majida began. "But..." 

Rose's ears rang with the sound of the portal. Darkness fell, and the world spun around her. 

"...survive long enough for them to escape," Majida was saying, in the distance. 

"What's happening?" Lynda's voice asked. 

The visor of Rose's helmet was raised. After so long in darkness, Rose found the light almost painfully bright, and it took several seconds of blinking before she could see where she was. Once more, she was standing in the Great Hall. The Doctor was beside her, pulling the tie from his eyes. Just beyond him, Treguard was lifting a horned helmet off Lynda's head. Adam was still at his post by the font, while a little way away Nancy was perched on a stool, peering into an open chest. 

"Quick," she called. "Look at this!" 

The party from the dungeon hurried over to the chest. Propped up inside it was a mirror, reflecting the image of what had to be the courtyard they'd just left. In the centre of the far wall, an arched doorway was topped by the carved head of a lion. Majida was backed against the wall to the right of the arch, surrounded by a slowly tightening semicircle of fire. Her arms were held up in the shape of an X, as if to ward off the flame and whatever other attack she was under. Her expression was strained, her mouth a rigid line. And advancing across the flagstones towards her, entirely at his ease, was the all-too-familiar figure of Lord Fear. 

"I'm sure all that heroism gives you a lovely warm feeling," he was saying, favouring her with an axe-murderer's smile. "Or maybe that glowing sensation isn't entirely down to pointless heroism after all. Either way, you'd better enjoy it while it lasts." 

Rose risked a brief glance over at the font, where Adam was peering into the waters. Treguard was standing beside him, holding a wooden staff taller than he was, his eyes fixed intently on the scene. 

"Because," Lord Fear continued, "it's not going to last much longer. And nor are you." 

Majida, writhing as the fire closed in on her, swore in a language Rose didn't recognise. 

"Oh, what a little spitfire we are." Lord Fear didn't sound the least bit put out. "But it's not _spitting_ fire you need to concentrate on, right now." 

He took another pace forward, and the flames leapt higher. 

"Now!" Treguard echoed, and brought the staff down on the floor with a bang. 

In the mirror, the lion's eyes blazed with golden light. Lines of yellow fire leapt from the carved head to the floor, hitting the stone onto which Lord Fear had just stepped. The stone disintegrated in the blink of an eye, leaving only a dark pit. With a rapidly receding cry of "Treguard!", the Dark Lord of the Greater Dungeon plunged into the abyss and was gone. 

The flames winked out. Majida sighed, slumped to the ground, and vanished in a cloud of black smoke. A few seconds later, she reappeared in the great hall, covered with soot; her clothes were scorched rags, and her hair was gently smouldering. 

"That was extremely foolish of you," Treguard said. "Suppose I hadn't been able to save you?" 

"Then you would have had to do your own laundry tomorrow." Majida folded her arms. "Anyway, you did think of something. You always do." 

"Even if I might think better of it later on." Treguard shook his head. "Come, we should retrieve the equipment from our dungeoneers." 

"'Nice to see you, Majida,'" the genie grumbled, taking the eyeshield from Rose's arm. "'I am glad that Skullface did not burn you to ashes.'" She slung Rose's knapsack over her arm, then lifted the Helmet of Justice from Rose's head. "'Majida, I award you the Employee of the Month trophy.'" 

"We did it," Rose said. She'd expected to feel elation, but extreme weariness was washing over her. She looked down at herself. There was no sign of where her leg had been injured — the fabric of her jeans was not only free from blood, but completely undamaged. Similarly, her clothes bore no trace of the oil or debris from the Dreadnought's explosion, the mud of the Great Mire, or the slime of the culvert she'd slid down. 

"I congratulate you all." Treguard added the horned helmet, the one Lynda had been wearing, to the growing pile of equipment in Majida's arms. "A fine, if unorthodox, performance." 

The Doctor looked around. "Is someone going to explain what all this was about?" For emphasis, he pointed his sonic screwdriver at Rose. "I distinctly remember sending you home." 

"The TARDIS broke down," Rose said. 

"What, again?" The Doctor hurried across to where the police box stood, and disappeared inside. A moment later, he came back out. 

"It's all right," he said. "I don't think she liked visiting Marblehead any better than we did. She's recharging — in a few hours she'll be good to go again. So you ended up stuck here, and then what?" 

What started as an explanation quickly became a four-handed account of Rose's passage through the dungeons, with occasional clarifications from Treguard. Majida, once she had tidied away the adventuring equipment, had made herself scarce, explaining that she needed time to recover. 

"That covers Rose," the Doctor said, once Rose had got as far as her passage through the Corridor of Blades. "How did Lynda get involved?" 

"Well, when we heard about the four-keys thing we knew it would take two people to get you out," Nancy said. "Treguard said he had another helmet and a knapsack if someone wanted to have a go. Lynda said she'd do it, and I told her what to do." 

"Within the dungeon, there are many abandoned chambers and catacombs that could provide a shorter route to the vaults of Marblehead," Treguard added. "With Lord Fear's concentration entirely upon Dame Rose, I judged that a second dungeoneer could risk entering them." 

"I thought she'd collapsed!" Rose protested. "Adam, you was there. Why didn't you say what she was doing?" 

Adam glanced at Treguard. "We thought if you didn't know, you couldn't give the game away. If you got caught, I mean." 

"And those explosions? That was something to do with Lynda, too?" 

"The well-ways once allowed travel between levels," Treguard explained. "They had been sealed for many years, but with the appropriate guidance, Lynda was able to force them open." 

"You have all been busy bunnies, haven't you?" the Doctor said. 

"And now," Treguard said, "To the victors, the spoils. Adam, a promise has been made to you, and it shall be kept." From a pouch at his belt, he produced a pinch of powder, and sprinkled it over Adam's head. " _Esku!_ " 

Light flashed around Adam's head. A tangle of wires and optical transceivers dropped out of nowhere and landed in his lap: the implant that, for the last six months, had been the bane of his life. 

"There," Treguard said, and snapped his fingers: to Adam's delight, no hole opened in his head. "You are paid in full. And now to Lynda." 

Lynda, who was huddled before the magic mirror chest on the stool Nancy had used, wiped away a trickle of blood from the corner of her mouth. 

"I'm fine," she said, her voice a rasping whisper. 

The Doctor shook his head. "You really aren't. That rapid decompression must've played hell with your lungs." 

"She's been coughing up blood like that ever since she got back," Nancy added. "At least." 

Treguard crossed to where Lynda sat, sprinkled the powder over her, and once more intoned the word of power. With a gasp, she sat up. 

"Oh!" she said, her voice now back to normal. "Hang on. There's something in my..." 

She groped in the back of her shirt, and produced another conglomeration of wire and crystal. 

"That's another of those implant things," Rose said. "I didn't know you had one." 

"Everyone does, where I come from," Lynda said. "Or they did. It's to control... well, pleasure. So the government can make sure we're watching the telly and not making our own entertainment." 

Adam winced. "No need to draw a picture. Lynda, I didn't realise. I'm... sorry." 

"Well, it's out now." Lynda threw the implant to the ground and crushed it under her foot. 

"And so to our third advisor. Excuse me one moment." Treguard crossed to one of the chests, returning a moment later with a folded bundle of fabric. "Unlike these two, you have no urgent need of healing. But you may find this cloak of use to you. It will take the hue of stone, or wood, or shadow: its purpose is to protect you from unfriendly eyes. But it will not turn aside blades, or the deadlier weapons of your time." 

"Thank you." Nancy took the cloak from him. 

"Doctor, Rose. No reward was promised to you, but—" 

"That's all right," the Doctor said, with what Rose thought was indecent haste. "We don't need anything like that, do we, Rose?" 

"Suppose not," Rose said. 

"Splendid." Treguard looked around as Majida came back into the room, newly washed, perfumed and wearing fresh clothes. "Majida, since our guests will not be able to leave for a few hours, I feel a banquet is in order." 

Majida scowled. "Do you also wish me to go to the courtyard and chop more logs for your fire?" 

"You'll do that whether I want you to or not," Treguard replied. He turned to the others and lowered his voice to a stage whisper. "She cuts firewood when she's in a bad temper and wants to work it off. As you may imagine, we have an inexhaustible supply of it."


	14. Post Mortem

"Here's to Lynda." The Doctor raised his glass. "Long life and happiness." 

Everybody around the table lifted their own glasses. "To Lynda." 

"So how come you knew the answers to all those questions?" Rose asked. "Even the one about the swallows. I mean, no-one knows that." 

"Rose," Lynda said patiently, "I've been watching quiz shows day in, day out, for my whole life. I know all sorts of useless stuff. And that swallow question comes up in _Fifteen To None_ almost every year." 

"You're really quite bright, Lynda," Adam said. "And a looker, too. If you don't want to go back to your time, why don't you come with me? With my intelligence and what you know about the future, we could..." 

Nancy nudged him. "That's not the way to talk to a girl, brain-boy. And if I was you, I'd slow down a bit on that wine. Majida, don't you think so?" 

"I? I am merely a servant." Majida set another earthenware jug of wine on the table, with not quite enough force to shatter it. "I come, I go, I fetch, I carry, I paint the castle walls with whitewash once a year — I am not paid to think. In fact, I am not paid at all, am I, Treguard?" 

There was no answer. She looked up toward the head of the table, to see that the master of Dunshelm Keep was no longer there. 

"Now where has he gone?" she wondered out loud. "It is worse than answering to a will-o-the-wisp." 

"If he's not bossing you around, sit down and have something to eat," Rose suggested practically. 

"Maybe I will." Majida helped herself to a chicken leg. "Hmm. I cooked this well, I think. Lucky for you Treguard saved me from Lord Fear, or there would be no roasted chicken for you now — only roasted Majida." 

As she was speaking, Treguard, having ascended a staircase at the far end of the hall, was now passing through his solar into a narrow space, originally a gallery for the use of minstrels. A heavy tapestry separated it from the Great Hall; the occasional gap admitted sight and sound. 

"Doctor," he said softly. 

The gallery's only other occupant had been peering through a gap in the arras, but at the sound of Treguard's voice, he spun round, revealing the familiar features of the Doctor. 

"You are down there, as is your magical box," Treguard said, indicating the tapestry and the hall beyond it. "Why are both also up here?" 

"I came back." The Doctor winced. "It's years since I was here before. But I wanted to see them all again. Once last time, with these eyes." 

"One 'last' time?" Treguard repeated. 

"I haven't got long now. Less than an hour." The Doctor gasped, and leaned against the wall for support. "And you. I wanted to see you, too." 

"Here I am." 

"Something someone said to me." The Doctor closed his eyes. "He said I turn people into weapons. Suppose someone said that to you?" 

"He would be mistaken." 

"But you send children into that dungeon. I remember the Atlantean telling me. 'Kidsies', he said." 

Treguard shook his head. "My dungeoneers learn to fight monsters. That does not make them weapons: a weapon cannot think for itself. As long as there are monsters in the world, they must be fought." 

"And as long as the dungeon's there, you have to guard it. No-one wandering in and getting killed by accident, right?" 

"The dungeon must be guarded. For now, that task has fallen to me. Nothing must be allowed to enter it unbidden — and nothing may escape into your world. It was well that Rose rescued you, Doctor, for I could never have allowed Lord Fear to have the power of your travelling box. Even if your life had been sacrificed in consequence." 

The Doctor nodded. "Know the feeling. Keep up the good work, Treguard." 

Limping slightly, he walked to the far end of the gallery, where his TARDIS — like the Doctor himself, older and more worn than the one downstairs in the hall — was waiting. 

⁂

The meal having finished, the party was now standing around the fireplace. The daylight had long since faded from the windows of the hall, replaced by velvet darkness. 

"I suppose it's time I was getting back," Nancy said. She pulled on her overcoat, then her new elf-cloak. "You're sure I'll go back exactly where I came from?" 

"Exactly where, and exactly when," Treguard said. "Farewell, Nancy, and may fortune shine upon your path." 

"Thanks for everything," Rose said. "You saved the Doctor's life. And mine." 

Nancy kissed her on the cheek. "I'll have a story and a half to tell Jamie and the others, and no mistake. Goodbye, everyone." 

She walked from the hall. Through the windows on that side, she could presently be seen walking across the torchlit courtyard in the direction of the castle gatehouse. By the time she was halfway across, she was already semitransparent, and a few steps later had faded completely from sight. 

"Now I suppose it's my turn," Adam said. "Goodbye, Majida." He swallowed. "Rose. Doctor. Treguard. And... thank you." 

Treguard bowed. "You are welcome." His voice hardened slightly. "You still have your implant in your pocket. It should be left here." 

"Oh." Adam set the implant down on the table. "I wasn't going to—" 

He looked at their faces, tailed off, and walked silently away. Without Nancy's cloak, he remained visible for longer than she had, but had still vanished completely before he was across the courtyard. 

"I think you should've got him to turn out his pockets," the Doctor said. 

Treguard shrugged. "If he has never been taught the futility of stealing fairy gold, he will soon learn it." He cleared his throat. "Sir Doctor, Dame Rose. For any slights or harms that you have encountered in my dungeons, I beg your forgiveness, and I bid you farewell and a safe journey." 

He favoured them both with a courtly bow, which the Doctor returned. 

"And I think that's our cue to go," he said. He jumped to his feet, dashed across to the TARDIS, and patted its ancient wooden frame. "All ship-shape and Bristol fashion. Ready to go wherever she likes." He flung the door wide, and pirouetted into the interior. A moment later, his head and one arm reappeared, beckoning Rose. 

Rose turned to Treguard. "Thanks again for everything," she said, and ducked under the Doctor's arm into the TARDIS. 

"Catch you later, Treguard," the Doctor said, and disappeared into the TARDIS. Almost at once, the engines roared into life, and the lamp on the top began to flash. Treguard watched the police box until its last vestige had faded into the air. 

"Yes, Doctor," he said, to the empty air. "You will." 

⁂

"Ah," Treguard said. "I knew we were one advisor short. Where was she?" 

"Hiding in the garderobe," Majida replied briefly. 

"Not actually _in_ the garderobe, I hope?" 

Majida shook her head. "Only behind the curtains. If it had been otherwise, you would have had to go and get her yourself." 

Lynda, her collar held by Majida in an iron grip, gave a hopeful smile. 

"Sorry," she said. 

Treguard advanced on her. "Perhaps you would care to explain yourself?" 

"You know I said I didn't want to go back. And... the Doctor's gone, hasn't he? Well, I thought maybe if I was here when he went, you'd ask him to take me away." 

"You do not wish to leave," Treguard said flatly. 

"Last time I said I'd go with the Doctor I got killed. Well, except I ended up here instead. And... he's got Rose. I don't think it would work with all three of us." 

Majida threw up her hands in exasperation. "You humans! He loves me, she loves me not. It amazes me that any of you are able to think sensibly for two minutes together." 

"There are many who do not," Treguard said. "So, Lynda. You do not wish to return to your own world, and you do not wish to travel with the Doctor. What, then, is your intention?" 

"It's a long shot." Lynda gave him another hopeful look. "But... don't suppose you're looking for an apprentice, are you?" 

⁂

There was an unofficial agreement, among the members of the Opposition, that on those rare occasions when Lord Fear suffered a defeat, the first person to approach him should be Lissard. Opinions varied on whether this was because of his emollient manner, his usefulness to his master, or his remarkable ability not to be in any way responsible for whatever disaster had this time befallen their cause. 

Thus, it was Lissard, alone and unaccompanied, who made his way to the summit of Marblehead Tower. Lord Fear was standing motionless before one of the empty arches, looking out over his realm. 

"Lordness?" Lissard began. 

"Ah. Lissard. Took you long enough." His master's tone was, as usual, harsh and peremptory, but there was no hint of uncontrollable fury or bloodlust. "What happened to your arm?" 

Lissard glanced down at the bandage. "A ladyness called Lilith objected to my presence, Lordness. While we were hunting the prisoners. She plunged me into a chasm of iciness." 

"Why is it always the women?" Lord Fear shook his head. "Don't expect any healing spells from me. I suppose you're going to tell me it doesn't matter if I won or lost, as long as I played the game. Is that it?" 

"Well..." 

"Spit it out, tuna-chops. You were, weren't you?" 

Lissard gave the answer that his lord obviously wanted him to. "Yes, Lordness." 

"You know, I don't think you've been paying proper attention." Lord Fear swung around to face Lissard, fixing him with a steely glare. "You know my motto, don't you?" 

"'If at firstness we don't succeedses, we cheatses?'" 

"Something like that, anyway: I'm reasonably certain I didn't pluralise every other word. However. In case you didn't notice, we _did_ cheat. And we still didn't succeed! What conclusions do you draw from this, newt-features?" 

"The Powers That Be. They cheated too, Lordness." 

"Precisely! And that means we didn't cheat _enough_. I want redoubled vigilance, Lissard. Tomorrow I want every well-way they were able to open checked and booby-trapped. Get Raptor to find out where this Great Corridor of the Catacombs is, and send a battalion of skeletrons up there. We may have suffered a setback today, Lissard, but in the end I _always_ win. Go!" 

He watched as his seneschal scurried from the tower. Some kinds of gloating were more enjoyable without an audience. 

"What a complete victory you and your friends won over me, Dame Rose," he said. "Not only did you free my captive, you even retrieved his magic wand. If only I'd been able to keep hold of it, maybe I could have thought of it as some kind of consolation prize. Or if only I'd had a TWIN spell going spare, I could have made a copy of it for myself. Oh, wait, I did." 

He laughed, the sound echoing around the top of the tower and rolling out across Marblehead. Then he drew from his sleeve a slender silver rod with a glowing blue tip. 

"Maybe I don't have you yet, Doctor," he said. "Or your box of magic. But your wand should be a fruitful source of study for the time being."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Endnote: Fic I Won't Write**
> 
> In the course of writing and posting this fic, I've had ideas for at least two other ways this team, or some of them, would be suited for a Knightmare crossover. 
> 
> Firstly, this was written based on the premise that the Knightmare dungeon is real to the Who characters, rather than just a gameshow that none of them are the right age to have seen. There's an alternative situation that would fit Lynda equally well: she comes from a future world where lethal gameshows are produced in bulk. So if Knightmare was a gameshow in the Whoniverse, you can just bet there'd be a version of it in the Game Station, hosted by robots made to look vaguely like Treguard and Pickle, in which people are blindfolded and made to dodge real circular saws they can't see.
> 
> The other one was a [plotbunny](http://dw-straybunnies.livejournal.com/38740.html) from the [dw_straybunnies](http://dw-straybunnies.livejournal.com/) community: _Nine is forced to use Rose as an avatar in a deadly video game_. (If you read the full plotbunny the originator also wanted this to be a turn-on for Rose, but I'm definitely not the right writer for that). The word 'avatar' suggested something similar to the  Knightmare VR setup, with Rose in the dungeon and Nine controlling her.


End file.
